On the Verge of Dating White Girls

Are my rims big enough?

Since the trends of rims have stepped into the forefront of style, they have become a status symbol with the unspoken impression of, “Look at what I can afford!” 
The bigger and more fancier one’s rims, the more of a statement of your making.

In the recent years, I’ve seen rides with rims that were worth more than the car itself.  I’ve also seen cars that weren’t worth half as much as their rims, or cars that just looked ridiculous with over sized rims…

Even though the sporting of rims behind impractical logic may come across as silly, the statement of rims has a way of speaking to women in general.

Sure, it’s impressive to have a nice ride and wheels to match, but should rims make as loud a statement as it does with Black women. 

No, I don’t have spinners or 20inch rims on my ride, but I’m tempted to pimp my ride a little bit. 

Then again, am I in pursuit of a woman who is more impressed in my rims than my personality and talent?  I think not. Maybe I just have a rim-ride complex.

Nonetheless, it bothers me that our culture is caught up in the display of materialism and how it attracts the attention of our Black women for, all to often, the wrong reasons…

The "Thugged Out" vs. The "Nice Guy"

It amazes me how much the Thugged out, violent and insensitive persona continues to beat out the intelligent, caring and sensative type with Black woman.
Sure, not all women choose to be with the thug type, but a lot do.  Perhaps the blame can be attached to the glamorization of thug lifstyle via videos and music.  Then again, the "bad boy" persona has been admired by women of all races since the beginning of time. 
However, in 2005 when many Black women compain about the selection of Black men, why is it that the "nice guy" approach just doesn't work for many Black women?  For instance, I've been rejected passed-up (or choose your own word) by a few sistas who chose to contnue to be with her mentally abusive and  dysfunctionally insecure boyfrined/father of her child...While she had a lot to consider since he is the father of ther child, I'm just thinking no matter the person or situation it would be best to place one's self in the healthier position, right?  I mean, then we all win.  The child as well.  And if a dude doesn't motivate himself to be a healthier person for himself, then what good is he as a father and or mate? 
You'd be surprised at the numbers of Black women that I know of that have opted for the thug/dysfunctional type instead of the nice guy.
As a result, it's tempting to tilt my hat, get a few tattoos, fatally stalking my wanna be ex-girlfriend,  and focus my mind on illegal activities and worldly values...but that really doesn't work for me in the end. At the same time it doesn't work for me to continue to see beautiful women opt for obvious ugliness.  Oh well, I guess I'm just that nice single guy--for now.

The Baby's Mama: Friend or Foe?

In this world of language where expression is so slippery that you have to be articulate and possess the ability to elaborate in order to communicate or just to get your point across, unfortunately, all I have to do is say "My Baby's Mama" and any 9 out of 10 Brothas will instantly feel me.

Why is this?  Because it's real.

As if the Bush agenda, police, economy, or even the price of gas weren't enough, I gotta wake up every day and brace myself for the next bullet of her actions.

Just today when I questioned my son at soccer practice why he didn't follow my instructions and call me every evening after he completed his homework, he simply answered, "You gotta talk to my mother about that."

Knowing my son, I knew that these weren't his words--they were the words of his mother.

Being that it was just a matter of minutes before his mother picked him up, it was it not the time and place go there with him about the importance of our communication, I just had to stand there and take the emotional bullet he--unknowingly--just delivered to my chest.

Amidst these days of times where co-parenting from separate households is just as common as Kanye West in the top 10, why must we make raising our children that much more difficult?

As much as I love son, I fight the urge to hate his mother.  To this day, he is the best and worst thing to ever happen to me.

The best being him.

The worst being the relationship with his mother.

Scorned Sistas

A very accomplished spoken word artist and colleague of mine wrote a poem the started out with the Shakespearean quote:
"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned." 
He then adds his own statement:
"Then I must be living in hell, because all I see around me is scorned women."

I also have a cousin who once expressed to me that when it comes to Sistas, he feels like he is following a "Legacy" of Brothas that have done our Sistas wrong...

The rooted truth of the above statements lies is the fact that Sistas can be have a tenacity tendency to be a bit hesitant towards broth as due to their past relationships(s) or experiences. 

While it is totally human and understandable to be affected--or even traumatized--by another person resulting is emotional scars in need of healing, I just believe that for us, on the quest to experience "Black Love," we must be diligent to toward healing and being just as considerate with each other.