Dear Tiger Woods,
I remember when you first emerged as a golfer in college and shortly thereafter as professional golfer who was projected to be the richest athlete ever. Well, it seems that the predictions of your professional and financial successes were correct. I'm not surprised. You're a great golfer and your image has brought the sport of golf to main stream attention. Congrats again to you.
I also remember when your inevitable success was apparent and Michael Jordan and Charles Barkley attempted to befriend you and sorta "take you in" as an extremely rich professional black athlete, and you kinda resisted it... In fact you went out of your way to affirm that you weren't "black." You saying something like "Blasian?" ....ok.
Well some time as passed since and it seems like you've made plenty of friends on your own without the close affiliation of Michael Jordan and Charles Barkley.
Don't get me wrong, I'm sure you guys are cool, but I don't see you in Chuck's "Favorite 5" and now I hear you changed your number and didn't even tell Barkley?....
Frankly Tiger, i think you've mastermind this disaster all by yourself. At one point in the game you had the opportunity to learn from some of sports greatest black men (Jordan & Barkley) an you resisted to find yourself in this mess.
You gotta trust me on this one, I'm sure they've done much worse than you, but you don't see their dirt headlining CNN!
So check this out T-Dub, since no one was successfully able to reach you with some game, I'm going to bless you for free:
1. Don't be leaving messages on these hoe's voice mails!!Dude, you are Tiger Woods. If a tramp don't answer your call, move on to the next. Don't leave a message. You're Tiger Woods.
2. Don't be texting these tricks.Again you're Tiger Woods. You need a "Bat Phone" to call them from a restricted number. Don't give those chicken heads your number. Are you tripping homey? You're Tiger Woods. If they don't pick-up, move on to the next.
3. Don't be hiding ou.Man, "Man Up!" You mean to tell me that you can't even make your own golf tournament because you got caught out playing in the field? Come on dude.... If Kobe can cheat on his wife, rape a skeezer and then pay her off in the public media eye in the same breath, then surely you can emerge after feeding your sexual ambitions.
Lastly: Stop negotiating with these fools. What do you want to do, go out like Bil Clinton? All I gotta say is be "Like Mike" and keep your mouth shut. Pay your wife off to leave you alone and stop texting these broads!!!
Remember: You are Tiger Woods. Act like one.
Warm Regards,
Deepium
