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YAH, I'm first!

If you could only see my head right now, I feel like a bobblehead doll.

Whether or not what you said is positive or popular (and I think that it is both), hearing it from the horse's mouth is priceless. My name is not Cleo and I'm not a psychic, so I love hearing what mean want.

And, I think this is simple enough and speaks volumes.

As for the cooking, I think that's especially good because you want to make sure that she cooked it herself, and knows what she is doing.

One dollop of sour cream, coming up!



good list of suggestions! Love that list for a potential mate...


I always love to hear what a man wants. Some of the things you suggested are not appropriate for the woman who is just dating, though. Nor is it appropriate for a non-married couple, IMO. I think #2, 6, 7, and 9, are great for dating. I think #1 & 4 should be saved for the monogamous relationship. I think #8, can’t be expected of all women. In this day and age some women just won’t/can’t/SHOULDN’T (you’d be better off if they didn’t) clean. #3, 5, and 10 are definitely a benefit of marriage/engagement/or life partner (for those that don’t believe in marriage). You shouldn’t be giving out freak pics to a man who may not be the one. If he’s not, then you can expect your pic to be plastered on every media forum when the shit hits the fan. “Dropping it off” is something that requires a lot of trust and stability, afterall the woman is completely giving of herself when she does something like this. Every man loves a little freak, but women need to protect themselves first and their innocence. When you find the right man you both will be a lot better off if you saved these activities for him alone. Buying a man draws, is like claiming your territory. If you’re not sure if you’d like to buy the property why start decorating it…LOL.


Emerging Phoenix:

I respect your comments - But I think that he is inferring what men want in a relationship. I think, we as women, tend to make things more complicated.

I don't believe that if we were to put a list of things we want out of men, they would say "Well, no, I think this, that, and the other". They would be like "Is that what you want, Ok, cool".

If I want to learn how to cook, I'm going to ask Patti Labelle, Not Jessica Simpson. So, if I want to know what a man wants, I am going to ask a man, I'm not going to ask a woman who thinks she knows what a man wants.

Bottom line. This is not rocket science. I don't think many men (and again, I'm not trying to speak for them) would NOT co-sign
to this list.

To me, this is spelled out better to me than wheel of fortune.

PS: Who says women are innocent? That's a social construct designed to make the male the predator and the woman innocent of all charges. Want proof? Look at the sentences these female teacher predators get for having UNLAWFUL SEX with children. Do you think that would happen to a man.

Look at what happens when a woman kills her children (she's mentally ill) versus a man (domestic violence)

As a matter of fact, I think you have provided me with the idea for my next post, so I thank you for that.


@P - I think your response to me is totally uncalled for. If a man lets me know what he would like from me, then I think it is only fair for me to voice what I am willing to do, and how I feel about what he wants. This is an open forum, to open up dialogue and exchange ideas after all. Who are you to try and quiet me? I didn’t claim to know what a man wants, I simply stated what I, as a woman, am willing and not willing to do. Please don’t put words in my mouth. If I, as a woman, put a list out there of what I want, I would definitely like to hear how the men felt about it; what they thought was great, and what they thought was outlandish. How else will I grow? If we were all ‘yes men’, coming up in here nodding our heads, and agreeing with each other on every point then we would have no dimension. The goal should not be to think alike, but to act in our common interests.

I think your denial of women’s innocence and use of the current media coverage of a few depraved women to support that, demonizes all women. We are different (men and women), we have different roles in our current society, and we shouldn’t forget that.


Your interpretation of what I said is incorrect.

Two short things:

1. I'm not going to engage in a blog war. Unnecessary.

2. I stated my opinions, and that is my right as well.

3. I'm not bitter about anything you said. (See number two).

4. I'm out.

5. You can comment after this if you want. I'm not interested in getting the last word.


So a sista gots to up her butter nut squash soup game? Right, right...


So, yo DPM:

What about us sistas with other slept-on traits? I'm saying, I can do a MEAN take-out order. Bring it home, serve it up all nice whiles I'm walking around in something totally unappropriate. (i.e., stilettos...and maybe a thong) Feel me?

And I can get (& pay) Maria to come dust up ya crib, (laundry AND windows) while I'm at the spa gettin' massaged & waxed & pampered 'n a sista can parlay that beer & a smile & drop off with no complaints.

Don't sleep! I been told my shit's hella fly..

You get them pictures I sent?


lmao @ Supa you off the hook lol

I dont do squash (eww). This a pretty good list. Pretty simple and some what realistic with alotta potential.

*wondering* Will you really listen to Dixie Chics, Mary J, Celien Deion, And Witney on my mix CD?

You know the homies gone make fun of you if they catch you listening to the Dixie Chics, especially in the town.

Good luck with that :)


1. Check
2. Check
3. Check
4. Check
5. Check
6. Check -- once in 3 years
7. I'll try it
8. Can't do it -- no access
9. Can't do it -- technologically challenged
10. I'll try it


Ladies Ladies...

P and EP:

I hear you both. However let us not forget that I provided these suggestions for Black relationships with "...POTENTIAL."
I don't suggest any of these for mere dating. You gotta be ready and wanting for the next level if you use ANY of these.

This my attempt to simplify the often forgotten lil' things we as Black men like/want/need etc...

Believe it or not, I see the many women who regularly comment on my site as sort of my cyber-women/girlfriends and right about now, y'all both owe me a beer (wink).

In all seriousness, I appreciate the open forum atmosphere you both have cultivated here. I employ you both to accept, listen or even reject your perpective opinions peacfully and come to balance on "The Verge" again in the future.

Word to the Verge!


dpm gets another pimp stripe....




Man... I dunno know about the take-out thing. Ya' see, a brotha gotta know what he's working with. We need to smell that shit cooking, feel me?

We gotta know that you got skills! I can do "take out." C'mon now... I mean, you can try me once. But a Brotha grew up on "home cooked" feel me?

But I'm feeling the thong/stilletos thing. It'd be nice to be thonged up over the stove, feel me?

And I dunnp about Maria cleaning the crib. I'm open. But maybe you shouldn't tell me "Maria" did it. As long as it's a surprise, I give a damn who cleaned the toilet.

And yeah. "Butternut Squash Soupa!" Up yo' game player!

And yeah, I got the pic. Thanks. BTW, you sent me a shot of the right one. I told you me and the left one got a special relationship (wink).



Girl yo so nice.... You gonna make some Brotha real happy!


Whatever you choose to put on the CD, you gotta make him feel you. If it's the Dixie Chics, it betta be bangin'! You gotta bring him in your world, feel me? You'd be surprised.

Do it BIG! Word to the Verge!



I Salute!

The Phoenix

OMG!!!! Ok, I feel all behind...looks like a fight's bout to pop off and nobody told ME!

((LQQKIN around all shady like))

Ok, so what's REALLY goin on??? Mah nigga...D to the P to the M!!! This list is HOT!!! But you left off answering the door butt nekkid with a beer in her hand!

@ P: Why you tryin to get a brotha all sick n' shit with that sour cream??? HAHAHAHA!!! LMAO @ "If I want to learn how to cook, I'm going to ask Patti Labelle, Not Jessica Simpson. So, if I want to know what a man wants, I am going to ask a man, I'm not going to ask a woman who thinks she knows what a man wants." You's a COLD BITCH!! But that's why you're my dawg! That shit was C.L.A.S.S.I.C.

@ Emerging Phoenix: Ummm...sweetie...what is your issue with FOOD??? You mean to tell me that if you were seeing someone that you were kinda diggin (but not exclusively) that you wouldn't cook for him or bring him a home cooked meal?? 'The hell?? As much as I respect all people for having an opinion, there is nothing on this list that is unreasonable. He wasn't talkin about what's ACCEPTABLE (or not) to YOU...he's talking about what men want. Whether you agree with him or not is not even the point here. *sigh* Gimme a break...

@ Supa AND DPM: Did I mention that yall get on my nerves? HAHAHAHAHA! LMAO @ "You get them pictures I sent?" Hey...let me know how many wedding invitations you're gonna need! ((snickering)) HHAHAHAHA!


My sentiments exactly @ The Phoenix. Here's my two cents. #1, I'm mad cuz when I read that I got a damn visual of Supa sendin' DPM a pic of her right nipple even though I don't even know WTF they talmbout!! LOL! #2, it irks me when people go up in other folks' blogs and be tryin' to regulate, or poppin' off at the fingertips 'bout how the BLOG AUTHOR got HIS perspective twisted, especially on something he is immeasurably more qualified to speak on than the person trying to rebut. *DAP* at Pattypolis for pointing out how nonsensical that mess is. LOL


I just wanna know why ya'll pulled my right nipple into this.

The fuck?! Always trynta put a case on a sista...

And to the Vegan Misogynist: My momma always said: Two things to keep a man happy:


Let's just....keep it simple.


The Phoenix

Tia over here gettin all rowdy n' shit...and now Supa talkin bout she wanna fuck and feed someone...lawd hammercy! What is this world coming to???


Y'all are rithickulous, resorting to group intimidation. If you don’t agree with what I have to say, then please disregard it, but don’t think for one second that I am going to pipe down b/c y’all roll in groups. And that's really all I'm gonna say on that.

@DPM – I feel you on the home cooked meal thing. Carry out is just not the same.

@Tam - I don't have a problem with home cooked food, and I would/have do/done it for friends, family, etc. It’s more about being at their place than the cooking the food part. This was before DPM said he thought these things were for the serious couple. For dating, I wouldn’t go to the house of a guy I just met.



Your moms was right. I'm just providing the details babygurl. The details... Right, left, no sour cream etc. can be make a world of difference.


Well I can make a helluva delicious "sandwich.." It be all glittah.

@ EP: Girl, I don't even KNOW them chicks...

@ The Phoenix & Cool Sis: I'm kicking both ya'lls asses. Don't run.

@ P: This Inglewood, fool!

@ DPM: Stop it...


LMAO! Shoot, I'm just on the outside lookin' in, trying to put two and two together...
DPM: Send that fool a nipple shot or something. Send it in the middle of the day too.
SS: You get them pictures I sent?
DPM: And yeah, I got the pic. Thanks. BTW, you sent me a shot of the right one.

A sista can't even speculate? Dang.

@ Tam, girl, that ain't rowdy. I'm just naturally crunk like that. lol


Any takers for home cooked butternut squash soup topped with a dollop of sour cream?



Oh hell no. I'm sick. See, now I really need a drizzle and some nipple.

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