DPM: The Blackest Black Man Ever

When just being Black ain't enough!

I gotta admit, the mind is a mother'. I've always fantasized about being the Blackest dude ever and now I have no choice...

Yes, my son lives with his mother and her white boyfriend... so that means I have to be "The Equalizer." Meaning: I gotta balance that shit out.  In other words my crib is the "BLACKEST HOUSE..."

1. Where we can't watch television programs dominated by white people. 
2. Where The NBA is background scenery.
3. Where no white girls venture.
4. Where we cheer for  Black boxers and we get mad when they get their asses beat.
5. Where any song at anytime can be a quiz, "Who's this rapping?" or "Spell Luther Vandross."
6. Where I drink EVERYTHING out of my Shaka Zulu Mug.
7. Where I have the largest collection of Black action figures.
8. Where I drive the original white OJ Simpson SUV
9. Where I live on Martin Luther King Jr. Way
10. Where I have 2 over sized autographed Public Enemy artifacts
11. Where almost every wall has a different African mask.
12. Where the Blackest Black Man Ever Resides!

The "Blackest House" is where the Blackest Black Man lives in order to balance out the whiteness whackness of his son's mama's house and her white man.  Failure to be the Blackest Black Man could result in lil' dpm to view the world in an unrealistic way. 

The advantages of living in the Blackest House:

1. 9-year-old's can watch a rated "R" film if Denzel is it.
2. 9-year-olds can watch Martin Lawrence, Dave Chapell and old school Eddie Murphy...
3. 9-year-olds get to hear me lecture on sports.
4. 9-year-olds get to ride in my OJ Simpson "Juice Truck"
5. 9-year-olds don't have to eat sour cream.
6. 9-year-olds don't get poisoned by MTV or BET.
7. 9-year-olds can listen to Hip-Hop uncensored.
8. 9-year-olds can sit, concentrate and get beat in chess by yours truly while I clean the house at the same time (did i mention there is non PS2?  Nah, the Blackest House has a PS1.  I keep it old school)
9. 9-year-olds get to hang out with DPM and get a constant dosage of DPizM.

Overall The Blackest House, where the Blackest Black Man Ever lives, is oftentimes the "Blackest Place on Earth!  Where nathan is beyond rithickulous!

I'm looking into opening the Blackest House to the public as an amusement park.  I keep thinking the whole world needs to visit the "Blackest House."  It's only right...

Comments

[Mdean]

<>

Dang...so she went with "Something New"

Sing it like T-Pains "I'm in love with a stipper" "..and do the white thang, white thang."

[emergingphoenix]

OK, why did I bust out laughing when I read the title....

*still chuckling, about to roll on the floor*

....all right, I will go back and read the post now....

*wiping tears from my eyes*

[satisfiedsistah]

Waiting to exhale was a tremedous movie and featured nothing but black on black relationships. And good ones to boot. It showed ups and downs and reconciliations and the heart of black women and how they feel. I think perhaps that that genre of movie and why it was necessary pre dates you. Black women in movies were maids, or slaves, or whores, and side kicks comedy relief. An all black female cast, of gorgeous black women was novel.
EP rolling around laughing your a off has me laughing............

[reninatronix]

DPM,

Thank you for stopping through.

I am going to post about Oakland and Hip Hop in the 90's and how there usta be SHOW's there back in the day. ***gets all nostaligic***

[Supa]

He can watch Mo' Betta Blues? Damn. It's some serious fucking going down in that movie...

I wanna Shaka Zulu mug.

[dpm]

I'll let you sip some rice milk out the Shaka Zulu mug. But that's about it.

[Pyvsi]

And here I go, trying to find a Shaka Zulu mug on Froogle.

[admin]

good luck.

[Thualie]

How am i going to surprise my baby in areally sexy way? i need ideas!

[admin]

please refer to check list:

http://www.onthevergeofdatingwhitegirls.com/2006/05/my_sistas_this_.html

Moon crickets: stick to your own kind!

[ben]

wow. i'm very grateful i'm not black for the mere fact that i don't have to see the world through a paranoid racial way of thinking. that sounds like a pretty miserable life.

[mike jones]

hahahahahahaha

"where 9 year olds don't have to eat sour cream"

man, i'm as white as it gets (irish/german), and this is some funny shit

[tyron]

are u an alien