Movie: Diary of a Tired Black Man

The Movie Coming Soon...
The Black Men's Turn to exhale.
Personally, I couldn't even watch "Waiting to Exhale."  Even then I was way tired of the mainstream media rubbing the Black Man's image in the ground in the name of "entertainment."  Now comes a film that may offer a counter to what has become acceptable: Bashing Black Men.  If anything, I'm sure "The Diary of a Tired Black Man" attempts to reveal a perspective of Black men often ignored by women who wouldn't dare look at themselves to confront "The Truth." Although the film is about interracial dating, it's about why he goes there: Angry Black Women!  I guess it's like the CD "Niggaz and White Girls," it just gives his artistic explanation. 
However, I bet the creator, Tim Alexander will catch more slack than "Waiting to Exhale" did awards.  Here's the interview with Tim Alexander on the Michael Baisden Radio Show.

Comments

[kristen]

i, for one, am glad that this movie is being released. i think it is about time that a broth's feelings about black women can be expressed without that dumb-ass posturing seen in hip-hop videos or the conservative rant about black women as seen in the Duke rape case (is this what we're calling it now?)

i do hope, however, that they don't pull the 'angry black woman mad at frustrated (successful) black man dating white women' card, shit's old, and i realy could care less.

on the whole, i'm gonna hold final judgements until i see the movie-any advance tickets on sale in santa barbara?

peace

[kristen]

and BH, you're point about cheating DL men being a hoax would have come across a lot better without the usage of the word 'fag' i'm just sayin'

dpm-you have to give us more about your relationship with your ex. these little tidbits here and there are really not enough. i mean c'mon, no one ever told you that getting all that off your chest was therapeutic?

[Blackhoney]

@ dpm, Brotha I feel for you but what you are experiencing is life.Some of it is gonna be good and some of it is gonna be bad.

Yes there are ABWs (Angry Black Women) out there, just as there are CABM (Crazy Ass Black Men), but the answer to both those extremes is not the bed of white folks.Sex with whitey is not a cure all for what ails Black men and women.

Here is a lil background info on me.

Growing up my first interaction with Brothas was not pleasant.Like many Sistas, I had grown men after me, molester uncles and the like.

As a teen, not much changed, most Brothas wanted sex and some were willing to rape to get it.Though never a victim, it was an experience.

I have also been mugged about 5 times by Black men.I lived in New York during the chain snatching heyday of the late 80's and had the misfortune of being attacked several times by Black men wanting my jewelry.

If I had to write down all positive and negative experiences with Brothas, the negatives would eclipse the positives with no problem.

Oh yeah, my children's father decided to dump me and run back to the clubs to act like he was 18 again.

And yet through all that, it never dawned on me to ever turn my back on brothas and head for the white man's bed.Never did I assume through whitey life would become a bed of roses.

As a matter of fact, many white men who tried to get next to me were just as sorry.Some were married, others 30 and still at home and some just looking for a piece of Black azz.

This film isn't about dialogue.This film screams "Leave Black women for White women and your life will be rosey from here on out", and that is not a lie, but it is an insult.

[dpm]

Kristen:

Yes, the "making of dpm" may be an inevitable series of posts for "The Verge." I will definitely think on the that. In fact, consider it "coming soon."

I'm also glad to hear that another Blk woman is open to check this flick out. I have a feeling that it will help demonstrate and articulate a lot of what brothas haven't been able to say.
We'll see...

Sweet Black Honey:

I have to disagree with your pre-analysis of the movie. Although I'm sure there is a brotha out there that'll use the flick to justify his pursuit of white women, I can't see that being true for a brotha like myself.

I've said it before: "The Verge is a place of strength..." for me. I can't see a movie tempting me beyond the brink of dating a white girl.

Interestingly, I believe that our experiences combined with our own individualities may keep us at different ends of the table on this one. However, I assure you the movie has no ability to translate as a promotion for me and white girls.

Like yourself, no matter how trifling or dramatic my story is, I have no desire to run to white women for solace of the heart.

I believe we all have different paths to romance, but I don't think a white girl is mine.

Thanks for sharing. I gotta check you out soon at www.cocoalounge.com

Be good Black Honey (love your name)!

[Supa]

*DEEP sigh*

Yeah, I watched the clip...and it looked like the same angry, tired dysfunctional shyt between sistas & brothas put on display. Yawn. Seen it before. Next?

I'ma hafta co-sign P, when she said:

"Bottom line, the issue at the forefront is never the issue. The issue that is at the forefront is always THE BY PRODUCT of the underlying issue, which is the real need of what should be addressed..."

Granted, I didn't listen to the interviews so I don't know what other dialogue/propaganda has been said, but judging by the clip, the movie puports that "peace & happiness" translates into hooking up with a non-sista, 'cause we're just some stuck, angry, teeth-smacking, manless bitches who hate to see a brotha on the come up.

Please.

It (the movie) just seems to represent two very polarized mentalities, and I'm curious to know if there'll be any
sincere effort to offer solutions between the black woman/man in honoring and dealing more positively within their sometimes tumultuous interactions, or if this (the movie) is just another "fuck ya'll" letter, telling us (once again) that we just 'aint the prize.

And look: I 'aint doubtin' there aren't "tired black men" or "angry black women" out there -I'm well aware that each faction exists (hell, I've even BEEN that angry sista before, and I guarantee I've got some stories in my own defense..just like I'm sure those "tired" brothas do)... but like EP stated - is the forum (the movie) simply divisive or is it a positive springboard for discussion?

Guess I'll have to watch the shit to find out...but I 'aint payin. Somebody's gonna have to hook me up with the bootleg.

On another note: What's wrong with using other movie examples that highlight a more positive negotiating of black love, a la THE INKWELL, JASON'S LYRIC, CLAUDINE (hell, I'll even throw in BEST MAN) to name a few...

Done.

[Supa]

OH - and DPM: Waiting to Exhale is straight comedy. Holds no significant social/emotional/personal value to me. (silly women, silly choices)

I only watch it to cheer Bernie on when she's lighting dude's shit on fire.

But I do love the scenes between Wesley & Angela.

Okay. Now I'm done.

[dpm]

Supa:

You gotta listen to the interviews. I think you'd be surprised to hear the public's response to the clip.

I don't see how this can't create "positive dialogue." If anything it directly deals with the issues of Black relationships and some of the surrounding issues.

If we want something positive to occur behind this movie we can't approach it with anger. I think one key to putting this movie to use, rather than on blast, is to be open minded to discuss what's going on instead of being disgusted.

[emergingphoenix]

DPM - the interviews were the worst part. To hear some of the men start talking about black women and their hair, as a GOOD REASON for not wanting to date a black woman....*smh*. The whole interview was just a mess. If I had only listened to the interview alone, I would NOT HAVE EVEN considered seeing the movie.

[dpm]

EP:

Yeah, dude was off the chain for that one. I find it interesting that portion of the interview stuck with you. However, I was more interested in the fact that it wasn't hostile discussion. The women who called in weren't imediately upset at the movie. Moreover I thought the public's response was more open-minded than the blogsphere.

[Chris]

I watched the clip and it was very interesting (I am a black woman). I read the other posts and the different reactions. I personally did not feel offended, a major part of that is because I'm not an ABW. I have to admit there is some truth to the video, but the truth does not lie in the race of the characters, but in the character of the people. We all have a choice in who will deal with. For example: if I meet a brother whose all thugged out, no job, living with mama, etc.. We start dating, we sleep around, I get pregnant, he turns out to be a no good father and can't provide for the baby. Is he no good because he is black? NO. He is no good because when I meet him I knew he didn't have a job, lived with moms, and a wannabe thug, now I have to deal with the consequences. We as African-Americans have to make better personal choices of who will deal with, who we sleep with, and who we give ourselves too. If we start doing that all this Angry Black Woman crap and No Good Black man crap could be eliminated, especially if folks lives who don't want the drama.

[dpm]

Word Chris:

It's good to hear that women CAN be open enuff to watch the clip and see some of the truth it's really aimed at.

[Juicy77]

@emergingphoenix

I'm late and someone probably already answered your qs (I didn't get through all of the comments) but Something New didn't bash Black men. All of the Black men in the movie were portrayed positively with the exception of her brother. They cast male leads with white/Latina/Asian women all the time, so I wonder why so many people were up in arms over Something New? That's not a question for anybody. I just don't get why it's okay for the men and not the women.

[adams]

I tell you what: I'm an ABW --an Angry Black Writer. Dang! All the stories we have in black America just waiting to be told, and this is the kind of shit that keeps getting made? What does a sister have to do to sell a screenplay?

I think that the reason I'm so tired/upset/worried about movies like this one is that they seem to trivialize the whole issue of interracial dating. They aren't really interested in sparking a discussion. They just seem like rationalizations for decisions that certain black men -- not all, and not even most -- have already made. They just seem to overstate the case a little bit. Most black people who are in relationships are with other black people.And ultimately, who someone else dates is none of my damn business -- up to and until the point you make it my business by fronting like it's somehow my fault that I'm not dating your trick ass. Some brothers act like it's your personal fault that they've crossed over -- even though you have never met them before.

Ultimately, we shouldn't believe the hype. People CHOOSE to date interracially. They don't RESORT to it. No matter what they say.

[caligirl]

Hey, I'm not even mad at a brother. lol! Brothers got feelings too. Sistas need to take care of their issues.

[cal5k]

Ok, alot of you are creating alot of noise about nothing.
"Tired Black Man" and "Something New" arent telling people to give up on your race and step out--its telling us something no one wants to pay attention to: There is a problem in relationships with Black Men and Black Women.
In these and ONLY these particular situations, these folks have decided to seek happiness beyond whatever made up ideas of what their roles should be.
Good for them.
Meanwhile, women...sistas, you CANNOT continue to stereotype evey man based on pop culture and how you were treated in a bad relationship--this course of action and the behavior you display based on it is NOT going to work out for you, I promise you that.
The assumption that you can do no wrong and that somehow its all the fault of Black Men is INSANE! You dont have the evidence or logic to back it up.

People of all colors--want to be with people they can relax and just live a life with. No one wants to work all day and come home to drama and attitude. And testing ANY man to see what he will do...will get your feelings hurt 9 times out of 10. The only thing that matters in life is being happy with the time you are given and providing for your loved ones--anything else is nonsense.

And dont act like just because someone isnt black--that they are weak...says who? Thats another stereotype, and that sort of thinking will let you down--it will not pan out.

And Brothas--the "playa" concept is a fool's game. Getting caught up in drama and casting these women aside is no worse a crime than being an abuser or a child molester--since alot of people these days are very immature and havent developed decent levels of self-esteem and the maturity to deal with real life as an adult.
When you mistreat these women they become damaged in a small way that grows and grows if they arent prepared to face certain things in their lives that may have allowed them to be hurt. And eventually it becomes like an illness or disease that festers and eats away at women.
This is the selfish and cruel behavior on the part of men and REAL MEN need to call them on that and try to fix it.

Forget "keeping it real" folks--you need to "keep it right".

And men, alot of brohtas aout there have mommy issues and no idea what its like to have men around to show us the right way to act, but thats no excuse. Once you are an adult--you are responsible for your behavior and the consequences of it.

People--stop arguing about the media, its a joke. You know the stereotypes are garbage and we are too old to believe in fairy tales and myths about one another. Handle your business and reduce the ignorance in your lives and think with your heads, not your bodies.

Maturity is the only way to work these problems out.
Not whining about who did what to who when.

Get on with it and get over it!

[Sigmaman]

For all you black women up in arms about this movie, HOW DOES IT FEEL!!?? For years and years, we've seen magazine articles, books, episodes of Oprah and movies talking about how we're no good, on the DL, are deadbeat dads, dogs and everythign else you can think of. I've seen more love directed toward black men from the KKK than I've seen from black women over the last several years. Now that one of us is speaking out and telling our side of the story, now you want to whine and cry victim when you stood right by and watched while we were getting slammed. I'm sorry if you feel it's so divisive and so harmful for black male/female relations but you have no credibility on this one. If you can't take it, don't dish it out.

[dpm]

Sigmaman:

I'm wit you.

[SweeTuth]

anybody else not surprised that out of all the comments on here it took a BM to smash the point home?

nicely done sigmaman. :)

women (black or otherwise) had it commin'...

[George Cook]

Check out my interview with Tim Alexander the director and creator of the movie Tired Black Man and listen for yourself to where he is coming from and the message he is trying to deliver to us all. You can listen to the interview by using the link below:

LTH WEEKLY

George Cook www.letstalkhonestly.com

[Arthur]

I want to see the movie. I do think its a little general when dealing with black women I really do but I want to see it anyway.
I had to see Waiting to Exhale so long ago and manned up to it in a theater full of women so I as a man am definatley going to see that movie.

I think this movie just applies to angry women. I know angry black, white, hispanic, and asian women. I also know of good ones who are sane and very mature and sexy and supportive.
Honestly its a character issue just like Waiting to Exhale was about guys. If you do what some of those guys did in the movie the movie spoke to you and maybe not in a good way.
If this movie exposes character issues a woman , no matter the race, have then maybe they might not like it in a good way.

No matter , I still say giv ethe movie a chance . I didnt think I would like Waiting to Exhale. But you know what it wasnt as bad as I thought it would be.
All Im asking is that you give the movie a chance and go see it. If you hated it then cool . If it made you think then cool. All Im saying is give the movie a chance and see it.

Women and men are different dispite what the media says and ahve different views on some issues. THis is just a movie about a male dealing with his encounters with a angry woman thats all.

Anyway I hope the movie makes $100000000 at the box office and cause a real dialogue to happen.

[Black Woman Named Jayne]

Hi,

I'd like to make a few corrections to both the article above and some of the assertions about the film made by some of the posters. I'm no authority as it's not my film, but I did see the entire movie and had the pleasure of having a few lengthy conversations with the writter/ producer Tim Alexander, both over the phone and in person about the movie, before and after seeing it.

1. The movie isn't about Interracial dating. That subject is touched on in the movie, but that's not what the movie is really about. Further, Mr. Alexander is clear about the fact he himself loves Black woman and isn't contemplating looking elsewhere. All he and hte main character want is a drama free relationship, which I think everyone is entitled to have.

2. I went to see the film at its premiere here in Detroit with a number of Black male and female friends. Most of us liked the movie. Of course, most of us aren't Angry Black Women either. Also, I think we as women of color could appreciate the fact that this was a different opinion, often thought by men but seldom expressed aloud. We did have a long discussion after the movie, where we raised a few points ourselves:

- Anger isn't just a Black women thing; a lot of women suffer from anger. I personally know equal if not more angry White women as (or than) I do Black women.

- Just as Black women pick the bad boys who end up hurting them and sparking the anger. Black men chose to be with hostile women, often overlooking the nice girls. I never understood why or how that was, but they chose to be with those type of women. And it really is that man's choice. I dated my last boyfriend because he was nice and respectful and he dated me because I was a nice girl. Before me and to this day, anytime he meets a girl with an attitude problem or is high maintaince, he doesn't apply for the position. It's a choice to date hostile women. I speculate some men like the idea of conquering a hostile women as though it makes her a better catch or prize. I think the Bible says it best when it warns that it's better for a man to live on the corner of the roof than with a hostile wife.

- A lot of the issues that Angry Black Women have, directly stem from things that some men do to women. Not just form relationships, but from the lack of Fatherly affirmation to prevent and ward off counterproductive relationships and the residual negative self-image problems.

-- To his credit, Mr. Alexander did conceed that some issues are caused by men and rebutted that some women are angry at other men and take it out on good men who haven't done anything to deserve it. And we all agreed. (Except for this one angry black woman - she wasn't one of my friends. *smile*)

3. The point of the movie is to spark discussion not rally Black men to abadon Black women. In fact, the main male character doesn't attack Black women. He just happens to have a lot of problems with his ex-wfe and her anger - as a lot of ex-husbands of all races do. From the clip, please notice, She and her friends raise the issue of race and as he says, "he just wants peace" it has nothing to do with her "whiteness."

A lot of Black women are angry because they are hurt and seeing a Black man, specifically ex-husband, boyfriend, trist, or lover can be salt in a wound. As was the case in this film.

Please see the film with an open mind and with friends. You may be pleasently surprised with the ending of the movie, which I won't ruin, but probably even more surprised about the passion of conversation you're apt to have afterward.

Also you can chat with Tim Alexander on his website about your thoughts about the film and his get his perspective.

The movie is on DVD now, so you can watch it, pause it, rewind, and listen and then get all up in arms. :)

Peace and Blessing y'all