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« DPM: The Blackest Black Man Ever | Main | Bill Walton, Shut up! »

Comments

Blackhoney

How sad.I cannot believe the number of Black men and women who have fallen for this crap.Whoever runs the garbage of a site for Angry Black man has been spamming my site relentlessly and I banned them.

What is sad is how few of us realize that this movie is just another nail in the coffin of Black love.

This film is a joke as it does nothing more than play into lies and stereotypes about Black and white women that dont exist.

The angry all the time Black woman is a myth and the notion that layiing up with a white woman will bring about automatic peace is surely a lie.

Let's face it, if white women were so perfect white men wouldn't be murdering and divorcing them in droves and marrying Asian women.

The writer of this movie, just like JL King has found a way to get Blackwomen all pissed off and take their money at the same time.

I'm too smart for this and thank God so are the Black men I deal with.This movie gets no love or support from us.

dpm

I'm not gonna let a movie be my "nail in the coffin."

If that's the case, Halle Berry already threw in the towel for me with "GOTHIKA," I mean, "SwordFish," I mean, "Monsters Ball"...Pick one. And "Waiting to Exhale" didn't help. It amazes me how women can get away with bash movies, hit songs, websites etc... But the minute a brother makes a counter move it's the "...nail in the coffin"???? c'mon. If we can watch movies about Forest Gumb surely we can watch and listen to what this man has to say. In the end, you don't have to agree.

Some women are quick to be offended by a title alone... I'm reminded what Chris Rock said (paraphrasing), "When it comes to mamas, you got all kinds of songs DEAR MAMA, I'LL ALWAYS LOVE MY MAMA, MAMA MAMA MAMA... But when it comes to daddies, what song you got? PAPA WAS A ROLLING STONE!

Shit, The whole world stops on Mother's Day! But what do I get for Father's Day? After shave and a big piece of chicken...

Brothas cain't do anything without being accussed of adding to the problem. But when a Sista draws first blood, or takes a similar angle, she is on the Oprah Show recieving applause with the whole cast.

I'm not saying I'm feeling dude, nor am I deffending him. But I'm giving him no more or less power than the next filmaker. I'd rather watch this to see what the fuss is about.

emergingphoenix

It’s to early in the morn for this shyte DPM. I'm sorry DPM, but this movie is divisive (and yes I watched the clip). I agree with some of the things in the clip itself, but I am not that chick, and I also like to intervene when I see things like this. I am not going to support this movie if it hits the mainstream. I am tired of it DPM, REAL TIRED OF IT. The issues that were brought up in the movie are real enough, I will admit that, but do you think it needs to be discussed in White Mainstream media? I DON’T. The message is lost, in the oversimplification of the matter, in the glamorization of white women…oh yeah, that’s right, the GLAMORIZATION OF WHITE WOMEN. No one will see the point, EVERYONE will see black men resorting to white women as the BETTER ALTERNATIVE, b/c ALL black women have ABW syndrome. When are we going to get it, and stop bickering like little kids, in public forums, no less. So the whole world can see our dirty laundry. WHEN?!?!?!?!?!?

Black women sing all sorts of love songs about loving their man, and YES, THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT BLACK MEN. We had this discussion, and I’ve said it before, majority black women stick by black men no MATTER WHAT.

This clip speaks to the materialistic desires of black women, yet black men are plagued by the same problem. The problem is not specific to relationships, it’s specific to the black community. I was going to post an article about Black Spending, which I put on delay, but I think I will do it now. Our community has problems…they manifest as dysfunction in our relationships (or lack there of)…each side lashes out, creating new anger…

*SMH*

*ON THE VERGE OF M-F’N TEARS*

When, DPM, WHEN? When are we going to get it?

emergingphoenix

If they really wanted to tackle the problem, they wouldn't have went as far as to insult the entire black woman population, by introducing white women as the alternative. That's sensationalist media tactics and it doesn't serve to unite.

dpm

Hold up EP...

Before you shed a tear, tell me this, did you mourn when "Something New" hit the big screen? This is exactly what I'm talking about... Women can easily get away with bashing the Black man or building on some false idea that Brothas aren't worthy or up to par.
This man IS speaking on something real: Angry Black Women. This isn't something he pulled out his ass. This is something Black men and women can relate to.
It's real whether we like it or not.

I think the biggest lesson to learn is when are we goin to start owning up to reality?
Don't fault this man. He's just doing what already been done. It's my guess that he feels that film is an effective way to express frustration. And why not? Women do it all the time.

In other words, this is "Something Old."

P

It's worth it to see the movie. You can't know whether to defend, or oppose such a movie, until you rightfully go see it, extrapolate what's good and bad, and be prepared to discuss.

Waiting to Exhale exposed some issues within our community - Sure. But it shouldn't be relagated to all men, even though women cheered it.

Just as this movie is not aimed at all black women - but does pose a fact. There are SOME angry black women. That's a fact. That doesn't mean that there are not underlying reasons WHY they are angry, which is an entirely different topic.

DPM: As for the "something new" comment you made, I'm going to co-sign with you on that; I am full on aware that women would have shreiked to the high heavens if that movie would have been about the inverse, and called "Something new"

What I say now is NOT for the masses, but it does ring true: Women and men have roles in this life. Both black men and women have neglected and even superceded their roles for a perverted view of what it means to be a man and woman. That has brought on issues of anger, miscommunication, infidelity, and trying "Something New". Men are not totally at fault, and neither are women. We all have core needs, and if they are not being met, it creates an avalanche effect, then eventually we're singing "Holding On" by L.T.D.

Bottom line, the issue at the forefront is never the issue. The issue that is at the forefront is always THE BY PRODUCT of the underlying issue, which is the real need of what should be addressed.

I know that sounded awfully confusing, but hey, that's me being me.

WE ARE BEAUTIFUL...NO MATTER WHAT "they" SAY...PAIN, HURT, SUFFERING PRODUCE ANGER...THE ANGER IS JUST A SYMPTOM...LET'S GET TO THE ROOT, AND IN THE MEANTIME, REPEAT AFTER ME, "WE ARE BEAUTIFUL! NO MATTER WHAT they SAY...(-:

dpm

P: I love you.

You are absolutely right! If "Something New" was about a Black man dating Penelope, us brothas woulda never ever heard the end of it--Nevah!

I'm with you. You gotta see the movie. Then talk bad, good or say nathan.

Mdean

I thought the clip was funny. On a superfical (sp) level, the ex wife was FINE! :) Anyway...we did have Jungle Fever. I remember I went to see Jungle Fever with this mexican chick back in the day. The black women in line to see the movie let me have it. haha. I got called a sellout to my face. I was like hold the fuck up, she's not white.

ahhh my people.

dpm

Word Mdean,

I was thinking the same thing. Ol' girl was rithickulously fine.

On another note, I'm sure she wouldn't have sat there silently and listened to what dude had to say either. In reality, she woulda' went off and I'm sure her friends woulda' pitched too.

emergingphoenix

@Mdean – I know you are not serious about the Mexican girl, right? Although, I don’t and wouldn’t condone women heckling a complete stranger for interracial dating, you can’t really have me believe that you think a Mexican woman falls under black. The whole point is she wasn’t black…SHEESH.

emergingpheonix

DPM et al. –

“Something New”: I didn’t see the movie. I wrestled with why I should or should not see the movie, and decided in the end, that it really didn’t do us (black women) justice. It touched on a lot of the same old stereotypes, and led to a relationship with a white blue-collar guy. Granted he owned the business, but was he really on the same level with her? Since I didn’t see the movie, I can’t really comment on it, but from what I hear, didn’t it have a redeeming “Good Brother” in it? Correct me, if I’m wrong. I almost saw the movie anyway, just b/c Laathan was in it, but decided to wait. As far as black men with white women…no there is nothing new about that, and we see it all the time. In media, in daily life, by men who make it a point to show they are not into black women. Black women with white men, is not new either, but definitely UNPOPULAR among black women. MOST of us won’t go there. The movie was supposed to open up the playing field for black women, when statistics show, black men are suffering from “Black Men Flight” syndrome.

“Waiting to Exhale”: Wasn’t the movie about 4 women, and 4 Men, with issues, not all women and men. I know the movie galvanized a whole set of knuckleheads to go around and start claiming, “See, that’s the problem with BLACK MEN”, as if the entire black male population had this affliction. However, the movie itself was not about ALL BLACK MEN, nor did it promote “black female flight”. It was about the wrong man, and being able to identify when you are with the wrong man, before your 5 years into one big mess. It’s been awhile, but wasn’t there a redeeming brotha in that movie, as well? Again, correct me if I’m wrong.

“Diary of a Tired Black Man”: It pits us against each other by putting a white woman in the mix. Fine, you want to express your grievances, go ahead, but show a positive example of a “Good Black Woman”, not an all out abandonment of her. Which is what you get by looking at this clip. If the clip says anything, about where the movie is going, then that will be the message that all the knuckleheads out there will get. I WILL NOT go and see this movie, and I will guarantee you that. Why? B/C, THIS IS NOT MY PROBLEM, but I am definitely a victim of Angry Black Men, who feel they have been wronged, by that type of chick. Furthermore, “Mr. Poor Unloved and Ignored Black Man”, did you go and see this traumatizing movie, “Something New”? Did you subject yourself to the “male bashing”, that ALL (not just Black women) partake in?

If the black man is consistently bashing the black woman, and the black woman is consistently claiming her love for the black man, who protects the black WOMAN? I emphasize WOMAN, b/c that is what we are, in a patriarchal society, where men play the dominant role. Yet it is the black woman, who is doing all the protecting. Who protects us?

I have voiced my stance being one of approval on interracial dating, before. I still stand by that, b/c:

1. I have faith in one day reaching a Star Trek type utopia *snorting* (the geek in me)
2. I believe that SOME people engage in healthy interracial relationships (sadly tragically, some only think they do, namely black men, and on the upswing VERY unhealthy couplings of black females, making the same mistake brothas have made and continue to make…putting so much faith in another race, they are blind to their individual faults)

In the end, I am in a relationship with a great guy, who is black. I had always kept my options open, but kept a divine desire to have it be a black man. Before him, I did start to lose faith, but I NEVER counted them out.

Knowing my sisters crazy asses they'd met his ass at the drive way and beat him and ol girl ass threw the passanger car window just for agreeing to come pick up his child at his baby momma house, thats disrespecting, Yeah it would have been some drama.

Him gloating about what he paid for was some bull shit, when you have a wife and a child thats what he was suppose to do, provide for his family, ie house and fruniture, so him going on about what he paid for is like him feeling like he was obligated to do something that was his responsibility in the first place. He aint gettin brownie points for buying a house and some fruniture. Only in this movie will you see women just sit back like they just got pimp slapped.

I aint bashing men or the up comming movie or anything just giving my personal opinions. Dude might still be bitter from watching Waiting to Exhale, or Diary of a mad black woman *cough* and a man wrote that one. Ha! If this dude wants to express himself through film and get people feathers all riled up then thats him. He has a right to do that. Every thing aint gotta be realistic I guess.

Oh and let me not get on the radio clip about black women and their hair. *taking deep breath* Imma just let that go.

eb0nie

.

Mdean

@emergingphoenix
I wasn’t trying to say she was black. (lawd) I guess I'm trying to point out that she is not the oppressor so ease off my black ass. Haha I just thought the whole thing was funny. I mess with my wife and her friends about the whole “Something New” stuff.

dpm

Emerging':

Respectfully, I've become very familiar with your position on Brothas over the past several months and I think we will always be at odds on this one.
You gotta understand that not only am I the Blackest Black Man Ever, I ain't the one to go around and berate Black women. I hear you speak on this all the time and I'm always wondering, "Who? Huh?"

On the other end, you don't want to hear my story. Trust me. Nonetheless, I've never been skeptical of Black women. For whatever reason I've never lost faith in Black women even though my ex-girlfriend disappeared in the middle of the night and went to Mexico with some other guy and came back "In love."

Over night, the little family I cherished between me, my son, her and her daughter was pulled from under my feet... Excuse me ripped from my clutches. Still, I ain't bitter. I pray for that bitch... Excuse me woman every night. Every since I've been on "The Verge" and here I stand waiting and doing my part to cultivate at least 1 Black family.

I just don't get how anyone can generalize any Black Man or Woman. We are Black people as a whole, yet we are individuals capable of individual choices.

I could easily take the stance of a "Tired Black Man" but for what? To a degree I am tired. But not that tired.
When you talk about Brothas with White women and how we flaunt them in the faces of Black women, I gotta say, I'm perplexed. I would never do that. Nor have I. Even when I dated a lil' White girl in college during the last century, I was so ashamed of myself. I couldn't be seen holding her hand in public and for the most part I just hid out with her. I even made a rule with myself to never ever bring her within my hometown area code.

My point is, I'm a Black man and I don't see your perception of Brothas and white girls as purposful as you do. Yeah, brothas be with White girls... And I see a gang of Sistas with White boys. Oh well.

I don't think you should take it personally like you do. History has shown us that the Black and White thing goes both ways with both genders and it will continue to.

Lastly, Although the movie might be a stetch, it hones in on some truths: Angry Black Women. If there weren't angry Black women, the movie would be a flat out "far reach." But it ain't. Angry Black Women do exist and I had a baby with one of them.

And even though she has her White man, I swear she is bent on making my life miserable. But I ain't tired. Instead I walk "The Verge" in faith that a chocolate ass sista with a nice ass, pretty smile, pleasant attitude, and sour cream free. will one day feel me and together we will live happily ever after

Mdean

dpm can I get a pass for a quick comment/post jack?

So white women now call themsleves "Strong Black Women"? Peep....
Kathy Griffin: Strong Black Woman
Tuesday, May 9 @ 9/8c

In this one-hour comedy roast, Kathy takes no prisoners when it comes to revealing Hollywood's juiciest secrets and red carpet blunders, and this time everyone from Paula Abdul to Dakota Fanning is fair game. This Bravo special features an unapologetic Kathy, who refuses to curb her political incorrectness in a hilariously entertaining performance

dpm

Awe hell naw. I gotta watch it. Thanks!

Fuck it. I guess I'm a White Boy seeking a Single Black Female.

Blackhoney

I urge Black women to take the ultimate stand against this movie and keep their money in thier pockets.

Let's face it, you can't have a hit Black movie without the Black woman's purse.Black men aren't gonna go see this movie.You could put 10 white chicks in it and an orgie scene and they still won't go see it.

This is a Black chick film.Designed to get us in the theater all piseed off, rolling our eyes and shakings our heads.This film can't fly without us and I say let's down this baby by keeping that $9.50 in our pockets when this crap hits the screen.

We stayed away from Something New and now it's time to stay away from Something Awful... Diary of a Oh So Tired Black Man.

emergingphoenix

DPM - You're making some grand assumptions. I would definitely want to hear your story, and I think it is starting to unfold before us anyway. When I speak on these guys that make it a point to down us, I think you and I have already established it is not you. I bring it up here, b/c it IS a problem, and this forum, does get a lot of discussion on the topic. And please stop acting so naive, b/c it's not just in personal situations either, I hear this kinda crap, when I go to comedy shows, walking down the street and catching the conversation of some fool, when I hear news casts of famous black men proclaiming disdain of black women and love for another, when some idiot on the Oprah show decides to get up and say the darndest thing, from my own damn male friends who have had the worst and sometimes not so bad encounters. I also have encountered it head on with brothas who for some reason seem to see me as the last resort before completely giving up on us. Maybe, because at the time, the majority of my friends (hangout buddies) were white. Regardless they would do some f'ed up shit, and then turn around and say it's my fault, b/c I AM the ABW. When really, they are only mad at me, b/c I represent (read resemble) the woman who REALLY did some f'ed up shit to them, and since they can't take it out on her (read - the Bi&*ch won't have nathan to do w/ them), they find the next unsuspecting, innocent soul to take their anger out on. I always reiterate my stance, b/c I know when I air these facts, people will assume, ‘well she must be bitter then’. I'm NOT; if I was I would DEFINITELY NOT be with a black man now. I am more concerned than bitter, and I try to confront these men as best I can, with a soft touch, but some of them are beyond reason. Some of them make me feel unsafe, and I am more concerned about my safety than their mental health. So I have to just let them move on, but I still hope in the end they find some help. So again I say, I don't have a problem with black men dating white women, or the reverse. So please don’t try to sit there and pin that stereotype on me. I never said I did have a problem with it either, nor did I say they “flaunt it in our faces”. I think you have me confused with someone else. It is the behavior of some men who do it, when they proceed to behave very ugly towards black women, especially unprovoked. When black women leave black men…they leave. They don’t run to the closest media person and say, ALL BLACK MEN ARE LOSERS, AND I WILL NEVER DATE ANOTHER ONE (and I hope they never start doing some rithickulous shyte like that). So yes, it can be seen as “purposeful”, when they do it.

If your ex is dating this man out of spite, TRUST ME, she will be a victim of her own stupidity, so stop trippin’ off her. As far as you dating the white girl and hiding out w/ her, I find THAT to be rithickulous. Why hide? You made the choice out of mutual desire (I hope), and if she was a respectable chick, then really YOU were disrespecting her. So, I am really not feeling you on that. Again, you have me confused with someone else, b/c I DON’T HAVE A PROBLEM w/ it. I have gone there, will go there again (probably won’t have to), and I will do it b/c I like the person, not because I hate black men. Nor will I seek out any other one race exclusively, or exclude all black men.

Your response to me is kinda hypocritical as well. If you don’t like generalizations, then why are you supporting this movie? It is making one big sweeping generalization. Not one of those girls in the room, had any dimension. They were all spewing the same old crap. Not one girl challenged the other girls on their behavior, as if we ALL think this way. ONE BIG GENERALIZATION.

In the end, I stand by my position. If the movie was really about dealing with the issues, then keep it between us. Don't bring in outside forces to dilute the meaning, and add more frustration and anger.

emergingphoenix

@BlackHoney - I feel like you are right about the black female audience. We are the ones who support and make or break black oriented movies like this (about love and relationships). What is sad though, is that even if we don't go and see it, I fear a large number of non-black people will go and see it, b/c they want to believe all black women have issues, and they need visuals to back it up.

DIVISIVE DPM, DIVISIVE.

dpm

Emergin',

I hear you. However it's a fine line between the sound of fed-up Black women and liberated Black women. I see you as a fed-up liberated Black woman. When I say "liberated" I'm speaking more directly to your thought box. Like you said, it's all about your happiness and if your knight in shiny amour is White, so be it with you. Kudos.

As for the generalizations, I think the film's approach has to generalize just to be effective. After all, it is a movie and it's aim IS to shed some general light on the subject of ANGRY BLACK WOMEN. I'm sure you can't take the movie's scenarios as "absolute" but it may be entertaining and somewhat insightful. As for the movie going beyond the intimate circle of communication between Black people... Oh well. I'm saying, this is how it's done in 2006.
This website is just a small example.

Now we can boycott it (I don't think that the movie will blow up anyway) or try to use it as a vehicle to stimulate some positive dialogue. I think we're doing our part and I thank you for that.

In sum, all I'm saying is that there are are some ANGRY BLACK WOMEN out there just as there are some TIRED BLACK MEN.

I don't see you or I as either, however I can see how they exist.

dpm

BlackHoney:

White girls, orgies and only $9.50?!?! 2 tickets please (you can have the other one [wink]).

Blackhoney

Sometime last year, during the whole DL craze, someone posted a link to part of an book about a gay Black man and his DL friends who were all married to Black women while simutaneously having sex with each other and anything else that moved.After I finished reading that short excerpt I was livid.I was angry and sure that almost every Black man out their was a raging fag hell bent on using sistahs as their cover while butt f@cking everything with a penis.This story literally had my brown face red... and then I woke up and realized I had been had... bigtime.

I had allowed a book about a bunch of fictional Black fags to cause me to become angry and untrusting of Black men who had never done anything to cause me to be angry at or not trust them.It was at that moment that I realized the real reason for the DL madness.It was to divide Black men and women.It was designed by the media to further strain the relationship between Black men and women.How can we come come together and build strong relationships and strong families if we are always at each others throats? The answer is we cannot.

I wrote all that to show that this movie is the same as that excerpt I read.It's designed to make us once again angry and untrusting of each other.No Black man I have ever dealt with was a undercover fag, so why was I allowing this book to upset so?

How many of you Brothas have ever done all that Brotha did in this movie and yet found yourself time and time again dealing with a psychotic Black woman that just wouldn't let you be? My guess is none of you have.So why are you allowing this movie to divide you from Black women? Why are you here arguing with us over something that chances are you have no real experience with?

If you wake up... really wake up, you will see that you... we... all of us, are being played like fiddles.

dpm

Blk Honey:

I do agree that we don't have to "argue." I think that it is possible to use this movie as a spring board to discussion.
Although your guess is optimistic, I have to speak up for the brothas that have experienced an "Angry Black Woman/Women" and her entourage: They exist.
I can't say that I've experienced an Angry Blk Woman in the same light as the movie clip, but my sons mother was often livid at the idea of me and another White woman. She'd go off and accuse me of entertaining White girls at cafes... (?). She even went as far as saying that she "hated White people." And I gotta say, it was far from the truth. I didn't have a White girl sitting in my car or house. (?)...
Needless to say, my life was miserable with her accusations and hallucinogenic sightings... The crazy thing about is that SHE went ahead and got her a White dude and she tried to be slick about it (That was funny)! She's been with him for at least 6 years and she still attempts to make my life miserable. Although I don't allow her misery to triumph in my life, I do believe she qualifies as an "Angry Black Woman" (crew and all)...

So I think this movie comes close enuff to the reality and we can use its' general basis of this movie to help us examine some of the ongoings in our Black relationships.

BlackHoney (damn I kinda like your name), Black Honey, I wish you only knew what the hell I go through with my Angry Baby Mama, I wish you only knew.

Not to go on but she once admitted to me that she was "bitter." She was vague about it but I suspect that she doesn't like to see my single, ain't gained a hundred pounds, proud to be Black, and don't like her ass like I used to coming. I think my freedom and happiness bugs the shit out of her.

Sometimes I think that she could only be happy is if I was down and out and with a white girl...

So (in the name of "positive dialougue") my question is: "Why are some Black Women angry at a brotha doing well? Or acheiving balance and happiness as mentioned in the movie clip?" Why?

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