On the Verge of Dating White Girls

On the Verge of Marriage

Is Marriage for Black People?

Like mentioned in the article below, I meet so many sistas that have been married and are cool never ever forever ever getting married again.  They'll "Date" but they won't  even think of doing that shit again (that is speaking of marriage)...

For a single dude like me, this can be disheartening.  I'm saying, I want to be married one day. Plus, I feel like I'm at an age where most women within my age range are either married, in a relationship, or divorced. 

Sometimes I feel like I'm the guy couples don't want around.  I'm saying, "I'm single." 

Example: I had a really good friend who was married and never faithful.  I was so close to he and his wife, I was uncomfortable being around him and his unfaithful acts.  But every time they got into an argument, my name popped up.  I was looked at as the "single" dude.  She always imagined me as this over sexed and boundary-less person.

The irony, is that I wasn't that ALL.  But I know why she thought that...  I was single.

Then there's my female friends that have boyfriends.  Most of their boyfriends are insecure and inhibit the friendlyness between me and female relationships.  I can understand this to an extent.  Moreover I'm alerted that because I'm single, halfway decent looking, and available, I can be seen as a threat.

As much as that shit sucks and makes me wonder about intense relationships, I still want to be married...

Marriage is for White People

'Marriage Is for White People'

By Joy Jones
Washington Post
Sunday, March 26, 2006

       

I grew up in a time when two-parent families were still the norm, in both black and white America. Then, as an adult, I saw divorce become more commonplace, then almost a rite of passage. Today it would appear that many -- particularly in the black community -- have dispensed with marriage altogether.

The loneliest number: Declining marriage rates among African Americans hit women the hardest.

 

But as a black woman, I have witnessed the outrage of girlfriends when the ex failed to show up for his weekend with the kids, and I've seen the disappointment of children who missed having a dad around. Having enjoyed a close relationship with my own father, I made a conscious decision that I wanted a husband, not a live-in boyfriend and not a "baby's daddy," when it came my time to mate and marry.

 

My time never came.

 

For years, I wondered why not. And then some 12-year-olds enlightened me.

 

"Marriage is for white people."...

Black, Male and On The Verge

When "Verbal Masturbation" can't replace REAL action!
Much like Kevin Powell, my home was absent of a father and I only went to college because my mother gave me 2 options:  go to college or get out!

Because she was educated herself, she had a hard time understanding why I'd do anything different. Additionally she could not relate to the gravitational pull of the streets and my hommies--nor did she care.

Present at 34 years of age, I can see the wisdom in her ways and I can also see her limits.  I can't fault her though.  She is a woman, my mother and father all in one.  The only thing she isn't is a man.

I swear it seemed like me and my twin brother had to figure the smallest things out: shaving, money management, how to tie a tie, women (still working on that one)...

Now, I lecture my son on these things.  He's 9-years-old and every speech begins the same, "Blood, your 9.  Meaning: You're half way grown."...

Black and Male in America

Black and Male in America
By Kevin Powell

I read the recent New York Times cover story, “Plight Deepens for Black Men, Studies Warn,” with a great deal of pain and sadness. As a Black man who is in his late 30s, I have literally encountered every dilemma documented: I am the product of a single-mother led household, fatherlessness, horrific poverty, omnipresent violence in and outside of the tenements of my youth, and the kind of hopelessness, depression, and low self-esteem which led me to believe, very early on, that my world was just one big ghetto, that Black boys like me were doomed to a prison stint or a premature death, that there was nothing we could do about it.

On the Verge of Social Exctinction: Black Men

Are Brothas in America in Danger?

 

For years I ignored the bleak forecast for the future of Black men because

1. I came from a single parent home ruled by my moms (Pops was never-forever-ever around his bad)
2. I eventually graduated from college
3. I never smoked weed (ok I didn't inhale [it work for B. Clinton, why not me?])
4. Didn't go to prison (no strikes).

Basically, I seemed to overachieve the pessimistic outlook I overheard, read, or what I was sometimes forced to swallow and chew after it was stuffed in down my mouth and down my throat. Still, I saw the world contrary to what was being said or published.  I'm saying, If I were to accept the popular statistics of the studied African-American Male future from the 1990's, I wouldn'ta' had a chance.  But I did.  In fact I like to believe that I made chance my reality.

But, I wasn't alone in performing these feats of "reality."  For the most part, my friends did the same thing. 

Then my girlfriend got pregnant (she my baby's mama now). I was 23 and I thought that very statics that I defied for years were finally closing in on me.  Well, the dark cloud of the African-American Male destiny never really rained on me. It ain't been easy.  But if I can say so myself, I've been blessed. 

1. I don't have AIDS
2. I haven't been to prison
3. I ain't killed nobody or made a living robbing banks (sometimes I think I've come close though--to all of the above)

Nonetheless, I've sat back and watched brothas directly and abstractly connected to me affected by all of the above and more...

Meanwhile, I've done my best, sometimes a little less, but I've persevered and I continue to do so today.

What's real is that although I've been blessed with sound company, and inspirational mother, good friends, a beautiful son and a cat for a roommate, I've witnessed many Black men fall victim to what used to be unthinkables for me: AIDS, Crack and Prison.

The lack of quality inner-city education combined with broken and impoverished households have begun--in my opinion--to chip away at the rock of our African-American community: Our motivation. 

Much of this erosion can be seen in the deepening plight of Black men. 

I read this article, and unlike my attitude of old, I can't deny these statistics anymore...I'm not embracing it but I am acknowledging that  it's only getting tougher. 

If anything, I hope this article can serve as fuel for the Black community to continue to push against the machine of American society that has created a history of oppressing us. 

The Plight Deepens for Black Men, Studies Warn:
by Eric Eckholm
Published by NY Times March 20,2006 

On The Verge of the Perfect Shoe

I find that "The Verge" is a slippery place.  In order to maintain your foothold it is imperative that you wear the right shoes...

The wrong shoes may land in the wrong place, with the wrong woman ("Beyond the Brink").  This gallery of shoes is my ongoing experiment of what to walk in "On The Verge." 

Yes, I'm "On the Verge" Daily and I do a damn good job of balancing my imperfections and my disgust for sour cream. 

If you ever felt like supporting me "On the Verge" remember:

I wear a size 12.

Word to the Verge.

Click for Official "OTV Footwear"

Weekly Word on the Verge: Nathan

Let's all say "nAy-thun" (pronoun)

1. a slang term for the negation of "nothing"; emphatic use "nathaniel."
   
2. none, zilch; Ol girl had nathan in her fridge to eat.

On the Verge of Dating White Girls Sentence:
Not only did she have nathan to talk about, I knew we had nathaniel in common once she ordered a bagel with cream cheese and proceed to tell me how she could kill any house plant.

On the Verge of Dating White Girls Synonym: no comment

On The Verge of Getting Her Ass Beat: Eboni Johnson Found

Posted March 9th-Pasadena City College Online

"Missing Daughter Found" Story by Dean Lee, News Chief

Three weeks after the 15-year-old daughter of two PCC employees    disappeared from her bedroom in the middle of the night, she is home safe with her family.                         

Officers at Ganesha high school in Pomona spotted Eboni Johnson Thursday after recognizing her picture from posters put up around the school. They approached her and took her into a school office where they called her parents.

"I didn't believe them at first and thought they had made a mistake," said Lisa Whiting, the girl's mother, who works in PCC's student bank. "Then when I realized she was there I dropped everything, called my husband and told him to get to the school."...

Continue reading...

On the Verge of an Old School Week

Man, it was an unbeleivable week for me and music.  To put it briefly, me and my boy Furious got word of Chuck D at the local record store and we did it BIG!!! I can't believe I got Chuck to sign my shits twice in one lifetime!  Damn, the mind of a teenager is a powerful thing. The pics say it all--well they try to:

Notice the angelic glow above the head of FuriousStyles...

Where did Chuck get that OTV t-shirt?  I gotta get one.

On the Verge of Missing: Hip-Hop

                      My 1st lover

This is a baby pic: LAST SEEN AROUND SPRING 1989ish...

Birth date: After a long incubation in the early 70’s, Music and Black Culture busted a nut and birthed Hip-Hop’s mainstream presence in 1979.

Infancy: Mostly, she spent the first decade of her life learning how to walk. She made brief appearances here and there, but for the most part the media and the rest of the world outside the realm of the Black community was waiting for her to slip, fall and die.

Against all odds, she made some healthy strides and befriended some good company like Run DMC, LL Cool J, and Salt and Pepa...