Black, Male and On The Verge

When "Verbal Masturbation" can't replace REAL action!
Much like Kevin Powell, my home was absent of a father and I only went to college because my mother gave me 2 options:  go to college or get out!

Because she was educated herself, she had a hard time understanding why I'd do anything different. Additionally she could not relate to the gravitational pull of the streets and my hommies--nor did she care.

Present at 34 years of age, I can see the wisdom in her ways and I can also see her limits.  I can't fault her though.  She is a woman, my mother and father all in one.  The only thing she isn't is a man.

I swear it seemed like me and my twin brother had to figure the smallest things out: shaving, money management, how to tie a tie, women (still working on that one)...

Now, I lecture my son on these things.  He's 9-years-old and every speech begins the same, "Blood, your 9.  Meaning: You're half way grown."...

 

Even though I can see his eyes mentally roll to the back of his head,  I keep it real.  Often times the lecture is about keeping clean, hygiene, keeping track of his hats etc...  Still it's scary.  I'm trying to prepare this dude for a society that is waiting and wanting for him to fall and fail and he can't even remember his water bottle at soccer practice.

Before, I go on a tangent, I think it's important that we as parents continue to parent according to the intensifying "Plight" of Black men.  At one point, all Black men were Black boys and like many of your suggestions we have to start there as mentors, mindful parents and healthy role models in order to counter the statistical destinies of Black Men.

But isn't this cliche?  I'm saying we've heard these solutions before.  By now, this is a natural role for many brothas.  Looking at myself not only am I a father to my son, I'm a coach to his team, a Bible class instructor to the teenagers at my church. Still, I see young men go astray and sift through my grasp all the time. 

This tells me that verbal masturbation can only do so much.  And like Pamela commentated on "The Verge" we have to "Stop knocking at the door if no one answers."

I completely agree...

 

I find it interesting and very real that the majority of comments on this blog are usually authored by women.  It tells what I've suspected my whole life.  Black women care about Black men.

For that I thank you.  In return I can promise you to always reach inside for strength as I firmly stand "On the Verge." of anything and everything.

Please know this blog is not about White Girls.
It's about gathering strength to stand counter to the dim forecast of being Black in America where the media is White, the police are White, the applause is White and DJ is White too.

So what do I do about it?  I create my own media, I stay out of trouble/slash don't get caught, give props to my Black people, and I even play my own records.

"The Verge" is a place of strength.  Not weakness.  It's a place where we can examine our thought patterns, share our thoughts/opinions and propose our ideas.

I feel the need to be clear because I get all kind of emails like I'm a White girls expert or that I'm a magical Black matchmaker.

I'm none of the above.  I'm human and "On the Verge."

Boldly I stand here intellectually naked for the world to see my scars, my stitches, my beauty marks.
My goal is to create and experience an environment--at least a household--that supports the notion of healthy BLACK LOVE.

In June 2007, I plan on attending the "Black Men in America" conference in NY.  Hopefully this will propel my mission of "The Verge" much further than "..Verbal Masturbation."

 

Y'all keep me going.  Again, I thank you.

Black Mother's (My advice):
When it comes to sculpting the thinking of Black Boys/Men, I think the worst thing that ever happened to me was when I was given something. 

Example: There was a period in my life where I could rely on my Identity as Black Male to get me grades, financial assistance, jobs etc...

It's my belief that when a Black males receive advantages, money or assistance outside his family for things in general unmerited, it causes a crutch in his mental psyche.  For me, it was an addiction that was hard to break.

As a result--today--I don't accept ish as I recognize all that I received without sweat or virtue was a cloak to my own power of manifestation and ability as Black man.

(That's just my 2 cents as a Black man weaned from various forms of assistance though out my life)

WORD TO THE VERGE!!!

Comments

[Paula D.]

"The Verge" is a place of strength. Not weakness. It's a place where we can examine our thought patterns, share our thoughts/opinions and propose our ideas.

That's why I love to visit! Great post! I have a 9 year old nephew that I love like he is my own. I give him the speeches & try to be there. Thanks again for posting this.

[Supa]

"Boldly I stand here intellectually naked for the world to see my scars, my stitches, my beauty marks..."

For this - I, WE, say: Thank you, black man.

Word to the Verge!

[Pamela]

Kudos on your POWERFUL Commentary!

Your last comment "Black women care about Black men." was particulary powerful. Part of the "Plight" of Black men, is in coming to that awareness can seem like an epiphany.

Part of the agenda of genocide for Black males is not only "A system that has expended every effort to annihilate, humiliate, intoxicate, emasculate, castrate, imprison, and demonize him" but... has been designed to alienate the Black female from desiring her Black man.

How better to promote genocide than to prevent procreation?

As in the UNCF motto: "A mind is a terrible thing to Waste"...Ladies,don't fall victim to this form of mind control.

[satisfiedsistah]

DPM
first I applaud you for being a present and involved father. That says a great deal right there. Black women do love black men, and yet I wonder as you tutor your son, what instruction do you give about honoring and loving black women ? Again, I applaud that you stand up for what you believe and think. I know on the Verge is about a notion, and irony. Good luck\
t o

[nikki]

this post is POWERFUL.

i thank you for continuing to create positive dialogue regarding the black experience in america.

and i DEFINITELY get with the idea of verbal masturbation not being enough. i used to frequent blogs discussing the "plight of black folk" in america, but quickly got irked at the fact that everyone had time to pontificate about the issues but nobody had any action to back ish up.

as far as i'm concerned, enough with the talk already. get out there and DO.

[ThatGirlTam]

i c u...

[dpm]

Word to my fellow Vergians.

Paula D:
Remember your nephew is half way grown!

Supa, Pam, SS, Nikki, Tam... Man I'm in heaven :)

There is no slippin here.

[meli]

You went there! And your Urge 2 Verge is Lovely. You gave me the desire to InstantMessage my list this link as a conversation piece for the day. I sense by your comments/experience that this came from a 'special' place. I thank U for sharing. Black Women play the 'double' role unceasingly, it was refreshing to read your post and mentally retire from the reality of being Ma' and break from raising Boys to Men...2 read the thoughts of A Black Male "stand (ing) here intellectually naked for the world to see my scars, my stitches, my beauty marks."

Peace...Hold it Up!

[bballmom]

I've recently started reading your blog, and I am very impressed and appreciate all you have to share.

Keep up the good posts!