On the Verge of Dating White Girls: Audio Blog: CBBW #1 & "Freedom?"

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Audio Blog: Listen 2 "Freedom"poem.mp3 written, read and published by DPM aka "AfroKen"

Audio Blog: Listen 2 "Freedom"poem.mp3 written, read and published by DPM aka "AfroKen"
This weekend I ran into CBBW #1 at the local club and I decided to break the trend of our smugness. It just so happened that we were talking to the same circle of people, however she conveniently kept her back to me and avoided eye contact outside of a phony "Hi" lip sync.

After a few minutes I unable to ignore her the same, plus I was really getting irritated by her refusal to acknowledge me. But I think it was more so that we were acting like children. So I gripped her waist with my left hand and whispered in her ear, "Is it just me, but why is it that we can't just be friendly?"

I admit that I said it with a slight attitude in my tone, but my intentions were grown. Still, I can't say I was ready for her reaction...

"We are friendly," she lied in my ear.

So I told her the truth, "No we're not. I just think that we can be better than that."

"You know," she grabbed my hand, "You're right."

*Please note: Rarely if ever did she ever agree with anything I said. And I could tell by the way she was looking at me, that she was happy to be speaking with me. And to be honest, I can easily enjoy a civil conversation to any intelligent Black woman. But I knew her to be crazy...

She continued with, "I'm glad you were able to say that. It makes me feel better."

"Yeah. Well. That's about it," I told her...

Meanwhile, we were inching closer and closer sharing the personal space of a bicycle commuter in China. But I remained strong--or shall I say entertained? It only took her a minute for her to tell me, (I quote) that my "Resistance is futile. I don't know why you fight it. You know who I am to you..."

*Recognizing in full: I know she's crazy yet for some reason she is completely comfortable being comfortable with me. It's almost like she knows she's crazy, and she thinks that I'm the crazy one to accept her in that crazy way (?)... Please know I was strong contrary to our history and sincerely did my best to give her a fair listen.

The whole time I'm thinking, I mean really, could it be me? Am I the one making this as she called it, "difficult?"

Believe it or not, I let her take me home and we had a long talk or rather she had a lot to say about how I was "playing" with "us."

But hey, I didn't invite her in my crib. I even told my her that, "My life was too peaceful to mess it up right now." She laughed at me and said she "Loved" me as I exited her car.

On that note, I just went to bed. I was thoroughly tired of the bullshit. Plus, It was 4:30am.