Crazy Beautiful Black Woman(Pt. 2)

CBBW (PART 2)
…After a series of angry phone calls from the Crazy Beautiful Black Woman (and me promptly hanging up), I decided to concede to the voice I had been ignoring for the past week, “Don’t mess with her.” When she finally stopped calling me, I reflected and meditated on the whole episodic drama.  The next day I decided to call her back to attempt a mature conversation in order to offer some closure.  Divinely, her phone was disconnected.  I took it as a spiritual sign. This time I didn’t fight it.  Instead I let it be official. A lesson learned. I embraced that messing with the CBBW again was what I ain’t never (double negative) ever gon' do again.  I consciously promised myself that I just wouldn’t.  So I didn’t.

I didn’t call her, nor did I bite on her dysfunctional email ploys and attempts to try to engage me in her silly arguments about “Kingship” and “Queenship.” As far as I was concerned, I already knew too much about her, her mean streak and her mouth, which was foul and consumed dairy products...

Months went by and I eventually forgot all about the Crazy Beautiful Black Woman.  As the ripples of her angry aftermath painlessly died, it didn’t take long for my world to return to the normal silent noise of my plants and muted highlights of ESPN. 

To say the least, I was thankfully single again and before long I found myself embarking a typical Friday night with a couple of my boys at a local club. 

Before I got to the club’s front door to get frisked, I saw the Crazy Beautiful Black Woman off to the side with her arms crossed. This time she wasn’t glaring at me.  She appeared too preoccupied to hate me in that moment. And although she was dressed to kill and her hat was banging, her pretty face looked sad.  So to be a gentleman I said “Hi” and asked her “What’s up?”

On the brink of bursting into to tears she told me that she locked her keys in her car and her money and cell phone were inside.  She said she didn’t have Triple A car insurance and she wasn’t sure what to do.

I offered to help (even though I had no solution).  I told her to take me to her car.  Once at her vehicle I could clearly see her keys were dangling from the ignition.  I was at a loss at how to open her raggedy Mazda 626 so I did what any other clueless guy with good intentions would do… I stuck my BMW key in her driver door and... it opened (Actually, she had power locks, so her doors didn’t just "open," all 4 locks jumped up at the same time as if Jesus touched her car and demanded entry).

Her face lit up, “How did you do that?”

I was baffled my damn self, “I just did it” I told her.  After that it was all unspoken.  It was like I could read her mind and she mine.  On top of that there was something other than us was speaking a truth we were too immature to hear. We were meant to be together, and I possessed the key to unlock whatever it was that no other man could so far.

The CBBW eased closer to me to say, “Thank you” and she began rubbing me.  I rubbed her back and we began to kiss passionately float in slow motion with sparkling dandelions drifting through the air.

After a night of dancing and staring into each other’s eyes the Crazy Beautiful Black Woman wanted me to return to home with her, but I wasn’t that anxious.  Although I was having an immaculate time, she still scared me.  Plus the whole idea of her drinking milk grossed me out. Furthermore, I wanted to take a different approach with her. I mean, we did the sex thing and that didn't work out. Plus, I wasn't feeling too good about breaking the promise I made to myself, which was "Don't mess with her." Lastly I thought that if we were to be together, the divine order of things would once again place us in a beautiful situation.

“I’ll call her later,” I thought as I drove home pondering about a new beginning with my CBBW...

I woulda' called her the next day, Saturday, but I had a hot date that evening to see John Legend and Alicia Keys at the Paramount Theater in Oakland.  So I stayed focused and careful to keep my worlds from colliding.  As planned I went out that Saturday evening to enjoy myself and my date even though we were sitting in the rear of the upper balcony, in the second to the last row "Y" (as in ..."x,y,z").

Everything was going swell. Plus,  I was with a  woman who provided cool conversation, good company, and I happened to know that she didn't drink milk.

However, as careful as I was, the divine order of things had another plan... Sitting to my left, a few seats over in row "Z" was the Crazy Beautiful Black Woman.  I turned and quickly acknowledged her presence with a soft respectful "Hello," but I knew that was just the beginning. Even though she was there with her date and I was there with mine, I could feel the heat of her stare as I happily sat there with my date.

When my date excused herself to use the restroom, the CBBW took advantage of the moment to lean over the seat next to me to utter in my ear breathe fire down my neck and say, "I'm so glad you had the time to get out this evening!"

No she couldn't say "Hi." or "Nice to see you." Instead she felt the need to do what she did best: Bitch!

I'm not sure if the young lady sitting next to me heard her clearly, but she looked at me like "What just happened?"  Yes, it looked to be an odd move on CBBW's behalf.  Plus, I didn't even react.  I just ignored her and looked forward.  I didn't say nathan.  If anything, I was feeling for her man that she was with who just watched this crazy woman lean over 3 people to whisper in my ear.

"How disrespectful," I thought.  I'd hate to take her anywhere if that's what she does. 

When my date returned, I didn't even mention it, nor did I point out the CBBW.  I just enjoyed the show and when John Legend sang his hit song "Ordinary People," never had it meant so much to me..

                     ...Maybe we'll live and learn
                      Maybe we'll crash and burn
                      Maybe you'll stay, maybe you'll leave,
                      maybe you'll return
                      Maybe you'll never find
                      Maybe we won't survive
                      But maybe we'll grow
                      You never know baby youuuu and I

                                       

                      We're just ordinary people
                      We don't know which way to go
                      Cuz we're ordinary people
                      Maybe we should take it slow
                      We're just ordinary people
                      We don't know which way to go
                      Cuz we're ordinary people

After that, I never spoke to the Crazy Beautiful Black Woman and I continue to thank myself for it.

Comments

[meli]

Woo, giv me a minute to absorb this hillarious episode. Brotha you got me dyin w. laughter at my desk...I gotsta comment more on my next break!

M

[satisfiedsistah]

Yikes.
She sounds like she has a chip on her shoulder the size of Denver. She leaned over and whispered over three rows of people?

Do you worry about her stalking you? Just thought I'd ask....

[Don't Push Me]

She kinda stalked me because she knew where to find me. Basically, she'd show up all the time.

After I continually ignored her, I think her stalking mode just evaporated...like milk.

[Vin-Su]

Man, from the time u saw her upset and spoke to here i knew you were dammed!