Maybe I'm too picky...

...Sometimes I think I've watched too much BET--I actually banned it from my house--because when I'm out in public, I'm looking for that "video girl" (only she has on clothes). 

And when I see this girl, I imagine she wouldn't be chatting with a handful of girls talking about some celebrity and what they wore at some award ceremony. Instead she'd be approachable--like reading a good book--that I already read--at a cafe or something. 

And when I approach her, I wouldn't even have to dig in my bag of "game."  The right words would just spill out and the conversation would start from there.  All the while, I'm admiring her skin, her smile, her teeth, and the fact that we can easily bounce random topics art and current events.

Then there'd be the clincher...the chemistry.  The undeniable sensation of, "We can do this."

Side note:  Is this a real thing?  I mean, do people still run with the butterfly feelings in their gut or are we hesitant until we can get the other person's credit score and bank account summary?

I've actually learned the hard way that unless a couple is equally yoked and able to bring a balance of resources to the table, then the odds are against them.

Classic example:  I had a girlfriend for nearly 5 years and she never really had a real  job.  But as soon as she graduated from school, began her career and got a little doe in her pocket, she slowly created a personality and life that didn't include me--nor was I included on her birthday trip to Mexico...Long story.

Basically, although I supported her to achieve her goal, it just seemed like she was unwilling to invest her new self into the relationship anymore.  To say the least, in the end I felt like I lost out on a lot of time and money.

One thing I learned about myself is that I can be supportive and I actually like that characteristic.  Yet, I'm cautious--even though I don't want to be.  I guess a better word would be "practical."

However, I do believe in the power of a chemistry so persuasive that it can supersede the logic of practicality  And even though I've grown to question the idea of it, it remains hard to resist or even stop looking for it in that "perfect person."...

 

Comments

[meli]

I feel you!
Investing is a risk. One thing I realize inspite of my feeling in past or present relationships is that when I give unconditionally (no attachments) it makes it my risk a blessing in disquise no matter the outcome. And more easy to digest...Perfection is all up to U!

[satisfiedsistah]

Frankly we have all lost the ability to judge, and to sit back and wait. We are always on the verge of taking bait without really trying the hook out. There are ways of figuring out who somebody is and what the risks are if you can stay out of bed long enough to talk. I know the idea of friends first is getting old, but put into real practice I think it can work. And if a woman is a gold digger well, that can really be assessed well ahead of the game. Get the assessment skills together. Be more open about whom you'll date, older women? Less bouncy women? Less MTV looking women? I don't know. If the girl doesn't have a job and she's dressed like a supermodel you need to ask yourself whose her daddy? It might end up being you........