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miss ahmad

well i bet that spiced up your morning commute:-)


I know her thumb gotsta stink!
Hillarious. I grew up w. a cousin who sucked her thumb and from time to time in her growing years still reverts! Wow, she never responded violently to the jokes or expressions. That is a highway classic for a good roadtrip story. I wonder, will she ever think twice about sucking her thumb in the 'thick of traffic'


I think your reaction to this girl was based on your already prejudicial views on black women in general. Clearly, she has issues both psychological and emotional. No one sucks their thumb at that age unless there is a deep underlying issue. Now granted it seems a person with some social graces would not do that, but probably she comes from a family or social milieu that supports this behavior or worse yet doesn't see it as a problem. Shame on you for making her a punching bag. It was better you said nothing. Of course her reaction was patent. Defensive, what else could she do? Apologize for embarrassing you? Of course not, she doesn't see herself as you do. someone has told her she is cute, or even someone has not told her that thumbsucking is ugly. My brother sucked his thumb until he was a teenager and no one could stop him. It wasn't until he was "dating" that it became clear this would hamper him and he wheened himself. Your issue in my opinion is more about a deep seated shame you harbor about your own color, and your own people and women in particular. Too bad there is no therapy to address how self hatred is planted so deeply. I say date whom you like, but don't blame the hapless few like this girl for your decisions. You don't need her as ammunition, just do it.

Dont' Push Me

My reponse to the above remark by SatisfiedSistah

Sure, her thumbsucking is most likely deeply rooted in something that was induced in early infacy or her toddler stage.

Still, it is what it is--nasty.

The fact that no one around her has been unable to address or motivate her to overcome that issue is a crime itself.

It's not that I have any hate for her at all. I do have digust for the thumbsucking--no doubt.

Let me tell it, I love Black women so much, I hate to see them as crack heads, hoes, exploits, or thumbsuckers in general.

Contrary to your approach of my actions, you never know, I may have done her a favor and inspired her to not suck her thumb with her tounge hanging out, with drool tricking down her chin?...


My reponse to the above remark by KMarcelous.

I am going to have to agree w/ satisfiedsistah on this one. You may have found that behavior nasty, and I don't blame you, but your reaction to it is another story. I don't believe that you should think for one second that your actions "inspired" that girl towards "better" behavior. Why do you feel like it is your place to judge her just because she shares your age-defying, wrinkle reducing, life-sustaining melanin. (sorry, a little full of myself right now, LOL)? If the girl's actions are gross to you...move on! Quite frankly, I think most sistahs will agree, that it is that kind of scrutiny that we endure from our own, that makes us wonder why we pledge allegiance to you in the first place. I don't feel like other women have to go under such a magnified microscope, before you decide to lay down roots with them. Which has got to be the most insulting fact of them all. I should probably introduce myself by saying, I have never been particular to any race, but I have a lot of sistah friends who are. As a result, I was shaped into thinking that although I date who I want, I will ultimately have a soulful connection with a brother. Hmmmmm...well, I have thankfully broken free of that shackle, and I actually do believe it is a shackle. It is a shackle that causes black women to accept the absolute worst behavior as normal, and black men to feel this ABSOLUTE sense of power, conviction, indifference, and disregard towards black women. I can't say if this girl has issues or not...after all, it was an isolated incident, and none of us know the circumstance under which she acted. It may have been her first time for all we know. It may have been a poor reaction, to an awful incident, in which she has every right to explore what will calm her soul. I don't know, but I do know that YOU DON'T KNOW EITHER. I agree with need to take a look at yourself.


Well put, I can add no more. Let's try and be proactive to one another and positive. For one week see black people and be positive, and if you see black people messing up be proactive. Continue to think about this girl and our collective positive conciousness might make a difference.

Miss Ahmad

my response to emergingphoenix..although i can see your point of view especially pertaining to not wanting to be under scrutiny as a woman of color and choosing to date outside of your race and not wanting to be scrutinized for that, we must be honest with ourselves. as a woman i am sure that you hold a standard of beauty and grace for yourself. most of us do although our standards may differ. unless you are a secret thumb sucker yourself, and he caught you with your thumb in your mouth, I would have to say that you are defending a black woman's irrational unacceptable adult behavior because she's black like you. (this is a stretch here but i'm guessing) why lower your standards and stand up for socially unacceptable unhygenic behavior, then chastise a man, (black man) for bringing it to light. as women we must not fall prey to the proverbial double edged swords, which far too often cuts the black man down, just for thinking, feeling and being...


My response to Miss Ahmad...
I truly find it funny that you think I am chastising the poster, for…basically chastising a stranger. I feel as if some of your comments could be turned around on the original poster. If the woman were of another hue, would it have drawn the same attention and need for post? Not to mention the display of disapproval. I was amazed at how many people chimed in to applaud and laugh, at how he took advantage of someone who was showing signs of weakness. My intentions weren't to defend this random woman, but to question the poster's feeling of divinity. I don't think that woman's actions (“thumb sucker”) were irrational nor unacceptable, and I wouldn't think that if she were white either. I feel that her actions are none of your business or the other poster's business. Did she kill someone, or commit some crime? I am not a "secret thumb sucker", but I am Human. And to err is Human. In all actuality, my dislike of this type of scrutiny, doesn't come from who I date. Honestly, that was a small part of my point that had less to do w/ who I date and more to do w/ the mentality of certain sistahs who will ONLY date black guys.
My dislike of this type of scrutiny comes from my carefree persona. It comes from my idealism. I wouldn't necessarily act in the same manner as the "thumb sucker", but I also wouldn't condemn the person to hell (read criticize), for something short of self pacification. It's just not that serious. Overall, catching someone sucking their thumb, really isnt that funny, but humiliating a complete stranger over it, is just sad. I really hope that my response to Dont Push Me wasn't as mentally crushing as u are trying to make it out to be, because there are tougher things in life to deal with. I also didn't mean to imply that he shouldn't have an opinion, and I don't feel like my post took that away from him. If anything, I encourage Don’t Push Me to have standards, but don’t expect every BLACK woman on the planet to live up to them. Don’t expect a lady like me, who appreciates a gentleman and a man who treats every woman with respect regardless of how they carry themselves, to condone this. Go ahead, (read - to a lover) and tell me about the woman who presented herself in poor taste and we can laugh about it over drinks, but I really don’t care to know how you publicly humiliated her, because that doesn’t make you any better.

And finally, I feel that as a WOMAN, YOU should be understanding to the fact that we already have a very high societal standard (and pressure) to live up to, and NONE of us are perfect. His behavior is no different from a “grown ass” white man walking down the street and “mooing” (think cow) at an overweight woman (of any color). Just a hypothetical scenario, but would you find that behavior acceptable…or childish, and unnecessarily hurtful? Especially if you are the thin friend walking down the street with her…


Well it is not as bas as you think, you were mean to this lady and that is ashame. Thumbsucking is just a habit like smoking or biting nails,, just stress reliever and we shouldnt be so judgy,, check the site they are thousands of adult thumbsuckers without mental problems, psicologycal issues or any drug problem.. they are all fine and normal human beens.. be more respectufl.. is much worse to kill yourself and others smoking but that,, is socially acceptable,, but is the same thing,, oral gratification.. so there..



Thumbsucking is just as NASTY as your spelling. IT'S ALL BAD!

Spell check yourself, before you wreck yourself.




Thumb sucking among adults is a lot more common than most realize due to its stealthy motivations based on the incorrect notion that it's immature or "nasty" or whatever it was that our parents may have drummed into our heads. You probably know one yourself but they've never admitted it to you, and no wonder.

Fact is, it beats most other tension relieving habits: smoking, overeating, gambling, etc., due to its relative lack of negative side affects, and it really doesn't interfer with the rights of others like, say, smoking does.

So, cheer up, open your mind, accept new, accurate, information and you shall be set free! :)


So a bro shook his head at a sis who was sucking her thumb at the red light. The sis went off. What happened here? Looks like both parties have deep-seated issues with with a whole group of folks. What would give dpm the right to look at someone who is attending to their personal comfort? Maybe she was stressed? Social graces go right out the window when bad shit happens or if youre having a bad day. She misinterpreted his deep- rooted concern for sistas in general as a judgement. Maybe it was. I truly believe dmp loves black women, (even though he has a blogsite called "On the Verge of Dating White Women") Although, I am concerned that his gesture of the head shake was a tad smug. The sista obviously had anger issues and at the core of them was probably that she has been treated badly and judged by men in general over and over and over again that she finally had it up to here when one of her "own" threw a smug gesture in her direction. To her this meant "See, that's why I'm On The Verge..." To which she replied, "Fuck you, how dare YOU judge me, nigga..." What he was really saying, I believe, was, "Damn sis, you could be a queen if you wanted".



I must agree with you. I'm sure dpm loves black women too, but I believe he was at fault at being insensative and judgmental at a situation/habit he was completely ignorant to.
Furthermore, I like the way you said it, "Damn sis, you could be a queen."
On the other hand, Tyiesha you must be a Queen for telling dpm this :)

I looked this up because I saw some grown ass woman sucking her thumb at a friend's house; it was her cousin. Needless to say, I was completely astonished to she her sucking her thumb--it gave me the impression that she was very simple. And, yes, her teeth resembled the teeth you show in this blog.

I'm astonished and saddened about this issue, that, if it were in my family, it would have been stomped out immediately!


black people are thumb suckers its a known fact go to any mall in the united states and you WILL see one sucking off thumb its sick


A black women was sucking her thumb then turned animalistic to express her feelings. So what else is new???

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