The month of November is a bittersweet one for me. Not only is it my birthday, but it’s also the birthday month a very special person who no longer walks this Earth with me. Her name is Andrelle Johnson and she was my girlfriend.
To scratch the surface of our connection, we were at one with each other from the moment we met. Interestingly enough, my best friend in the whole wide world, DJ Styles was a witness to me and Andrelle’s first encounter and he still has commentary about the moment…
We were all at a where house party when Andrelle caught my eye. From a distance I quietly plotted my approach and did my best to overcome my shyness in the process. After what seemed to be an eternal opportunity, I was unable to muster any word or angle to at least introduce myself. Feeling defeated as the party was nearing an end; I was already mentally kicking myself for doing absolutely nothing in order to experience this absolutely perfect, beautiful woman.
As soon as I began to sink in the silence of my sorrow, I felt a hand from behind rub my chest, and the whisper of words in my left ear, “You are so precious to me.”
When I turned all I saw was her smile. It was her. All I knew was that something happened. I wasn’t really sure what, and I didn’t question it either. I think I thanked God right there and Andrelle and I began--immediately. To say the least, it was divine on every level with an intensity so strong that my best friend DJ Styles ended up running away in amazement with his hand over his mouth.
I was a 19-year-old college student and she was a 23-year-old actress/dancer. To make a long story of levitating and running through dandelion fields in slow motion short, we effortlessly cultivated a magical relationship.
4 Years later, while I was in school Andrelle was diagnosed with a Polymeositis--a one in a million disease that has no cure. From what I understand, it’s a kind of cancer that baffles the medical world.
Unable to grasp the idea of losing her, I denied much of the process up until I got the phone call, “Andrelle died.”
That was 10 years ago and even to this day--every now and then--I have to fight the question of, “Why me?”
According to Styles, although Andrelle has past away from this physical level, she was “The One” for me. It’s his idea that there will never ever be another who could measure close or beyond her position as a “lover” in my life.
Furthermore, he implores me to give up on finding anything similar or greater than the ethereal relationship I had with her.
And as much as I’ve resisted Styles’ theory, a part of me has begun to weaken. As much as I want to believe that there is a mat for everyone, I admit, I can’t help but see my experience of Andrelle as a standard measure or goal for any other relationship to come. And as time goes on, I find it tempting to embrace the idea of we all have one perfect match on this Earth; That would mean that my match just happens to be not be living anymore.