Black Women Who Only Date White Men

I can appreciate the fact that people date who they like, but what I find annoying and shallow is a person who prefers to date another race other than the one they belong to.

Although I’m not an expert, pre-supposed dating outside one’s race sends a self-hate image that I find hard to tolerate. More specifically, it really stands out to me when I see Black women date White dude after White dude in the midst of a sea of Black men.

I’m all for anyone finding happiness, but what I question is the ability to love if you can’t find it in yourself first.

Comments

[Deja vu]

You know what, ive read through all of these post and everyone's idea of reality is soooo far off. This is ridiculous. Let me break this down for you.

Firstly i hate when people say its about individuality or color doesnt matter. Thats a dang on lie and you all know it. as long as i cant go on a job interview with an afro or as long as im called a nigger or as long industries, and politics deny blacks right , i dont want to hear that crap. Its not about individuality when one black person does something and all of us are stereotyped. So until society integrates us into this country as individual i dont want to hear that we are world crap.

Now second issue

All this interracial dating although there is a percentage of it that comes from true meetings and relationships , we know for a fact that people are attracted to people based on hidden agendas. Men may date a women for sex and money and a women may date a man for money or sex. An older man may date a younger girl to have a trophey. and so on, people have psychological issues that determine their taste. I dont believe in innocent human doings. Every one does something for a reason.

first we need to recognize that your environment shapes your dating life and sexuality. I asked why do black men who grew up in the hood or ghetto suddently have a liking for white women whom they have never really been exposed to. Its one thing when you grow up around diverse groups of people. so i realized its an insecurity. because you cant have a desire for something you dont know or never been exposed to unless you feel the grass is greener on the other side. or you have some strange curiousity you need fullfilled.

Secondly Black women dont have the luxury of interracial dating as much as black men. Men of all races are always supported more in their sexuality. Black women are constantly being told by society that they are less attractive the other women and white men especially young white men only want to date mixed black females or skilly long hair black women. Black women generation after generation have suffered from sexual abuse and thus are not as comfortable interracially dating . however black men were not raped during slavery or years after and so have no hang ups about sexual boundaries and color comfort zones.

black men are mostly responsible for the down fall of black communities . Black men are often imprisoned or not responsible fathers. im not saying this is all of them there are some of you black men out there who are great but you know how hard it is to keep your sons and nephews and brothers from becoming statistics we know the numbers. And dispite these destroyed black neighborhoods and cultures black men have a desire to step outside the chaos that they have created within our communities. How selfish!

I myself went to diverse schools. Im a black american female, and ive dated africans, arabs, indians, latinos and all, but was never comfortable with white men due to bad experiences, such as, always being referred to as chocolate or an exotic sexual fantasy. But recently ive ventured out to date white men only because at 28 i live in chicago and i have a masters degree and have traveled and done so much and i find it hard to find young black men in my city who have done the same. I find now that i have more in common with white men who travel and have higher education. There are more black women in college now then black men so there is a gap appearing in the education and work force. Thats not a slight to my brothers i understand their circumstances but this is reality , but i will never put my brothers down i love them even thought they get on my nerves and ive not found it easy to date white men also there are issues to deal with on that also. I find a lot of men have issues so i cant really color base it however culture is not deniable and will always play a part and it is a difference between black men and white men.

anyway a very long insight on the issue.

love you all!
Deja vu

[Tiffany]

To all you black women who want to continue to stick by black men.I say to you;how many of them continue to stick by you. I for one am not concerned with a race of men who do not care for the well being of me my children or my community. So I am done with them and I should have started dating men of other races a long time ago. I'm now so much happier and my children are safe

[keke]

all this interracial dating thing is played out but everybody has their own likes, preferences, and opinions. I am a black female and don't find black men all that attractive plus a lot of them are not attracted to black females, but that is not my reason for not finding them attractive. When I am out in public with my white boyfriend why do i get these nasty stares from black men when he is with his white chick and mix kids, that confuses me but like some tell black women DEAL WITH IT.

[admin]

Keke,

Ok. To each his or her own... I find it odd that you as a Black woman don't find Black men attractive. My question to you is, "How do you feel about your father?"

[keke]

that is my father that is different, don't get me wrong there are a few black males i see every now and then that look decent but i just think white males are the better way to go and to be honest i hear too many black males stereotyping against black women i am successful and so is my boyfriend and he aint called me no bitch yet so white girls can have black men

[admin]

"White males are the better way to go.."

Keke,

Are their any other generalizations I should be made aware of while I'm waiting for my white girl and calling every Black girl in between bitch?

I just want to be an accurate excuse/justification when it comes to you and your white dude.

heres the thing with black men either they are thugs are some wish they were anglo saxon, well that is how it is where im from and i want a person with some class who is proud of who he is and so far the white guys around here are on my level

[admin]

That's enlightening...

I was unaware that Black males only had 2 options when it came to identity. Perhaps I should reduce my imagination to "thugged out" or "oreo" rather than "successful," "creative" and "intelligent."

[keke]

black men just get on my nerves overall, they are quick to judge black females, oh she is unattractive, oh all these black girls are on welfare, and this and that, when they ain't got shit or may be ugly themselves. That just pisses me off that you tell your white wives, oh you are better because if we have children then their hair will come out good, or black girls are loud and when they reach a certain age they get fat. maybe i should start telling my white significant other the majority of black men are locked up, the majority are deadbeat fathers, or the majority are potheads, but i am not going to do that cause most feel superior over yall anyway so i will maintain my class.

[admin]

keke,

You seem to have a lot or preconceived-judgemental notions about Black men yourself. Most of which are preposterous to even admit. I'm beginning to think that you're not "black" at all. Perhaps you're just trying to stir things up in a foul way. And if you are Black, then your white boyfriend can has got a keeper in you. I'm saying, he has no need to feel insecure with any Black dudes around you...
To further appease you, I'm writing this from jail with a domestic violence conviction, high on chronic and I'm a bisexual misogynist.
Be well.

[keke]

i never said that my boyfriend is insecure when we are around black males you twisted my words, what i meant is that i would never discuss black men and there faults around him or any other white male because a lot of white males feel that they are more superior over black ones, that is what i meant and trust me i am a pretty black girl and i used to stand up for black males but i don't anymore because you got people like dennis rodman and wesley snipes and other lame ass black males who consider black women as jokes so what is wrong with me doing a little criticism it is so unfair

[MominCT]

I'm a middle-aged black woman. I've been married for 27 years to a white man I met through a white friend. They attende the same college. I'd been married to a black man. He cheated on me and gave me VD while I was pregnant. My father neglected me and my brother and sister all the while we were growing up. I didn't understand how or why my mother hated him, until I was married. I did'nt hate black men because of my experiences as a child nor a young woman. I decided one year to date the next fellow I met who was a good guy and not care about his race. I wasted my twenties on one bad marriage and decided that I didn't have too long to be marriageable. I wanted to be happy. He was nice and steady. Why should I let him get away, when he wanted and respected me? I must admit, that sometimes I wonder if I should have waited, and waited, but I'm happy. I love my people, and raise my daughters to love their black race and their white race too. There is good is all people. Marrying a white man did not make me white. I'm still black. I love my race and have not turned my back on them in anyway. I am just as militant as I always was "back in the day." I've not become a white woman. I am the only black woman I know that wears her hair natural. My daughters are the only black girls they know who wear their hair natural. I don't envy white woman at all. I see very negative things about them, and wouldn't want my people to follow their example of looseness, or pettiness. We've always had a love for our children, that was genuine and unselfish. They can learn a lot from us in many respects. I hope women can just find a man period, and get married and have a family like most women want.

[maria]

I have some questions for all of you:

If you are a dark-haired man and prefer blondes, is that self-hate??

If you are a short woman and prefer tall men, is that self-hate??

If you are shy and passive, and prefer someone who is loud and obnoxious, is that self-hate??

My answer to each of these questions is a big fat "NO!" and I think many of you would agree.

So, why is a person who prefers to date someone of a different skin color accused of self-hate? I don't get it.

I am a Black woman who HAS dated a few Black men but more often find myself attracted to fairer-skinned men such as Hispanics and Caucasians.

And really I believe physical attraction is the REAL reason the vast majority of people date interracially. Many of you here have tried to stereotpye members of your own race instead of simply admitting this. To imply that all Black women are demanding or have bad attitudes or are materialistic, is to imply that you have given EVERY Black woman the time of day! You haven't!!

I believe that's just an excuse many Black men use because they don't want to come out and admit they are simply not attracted to dark-skinned women with kinky hair.

I don't believe you can control what is physically appealing to you and I am not one to demonize people for whatever they like. I prefer fair-skinned men, just like a prefer tall men to short men, and lean men to heavy men. I don't see any of this as self-hate. My preferences have NOTHING to do with any stereotype I hold about men of my own race.

[Concerned]

I am a single black educate, self employed female. In my experience of dating black men I have been hurt, cheated on, and played. I am not a bitter or angry black women. I refuse to put up with bull shit and when I see it I run. I have not given up on my black brother I love them. Just have to fine the right one. Not all black brothers are uneducated, thugish, and disrespectful. I will hold out for my Black King won't have it any other way. I to have a problem with black men or women who only date outside of your race. If you don't fine members of your own race attractive that saids a lot about you. What I hate the most is when a black brother practically steps on me to talk to a white women sitting next to me. You don't have to date me but damm you could at least speak and say excuse me. We need to have more respect for each other.

[keke]

you couldn't have put it any better, but this is what you have to understand white chicks have black men pussy whipped excuse my french but that is just the way it is and that is another reason why i prefer white men at this time. and another thing i have a question for all yall retarded black men out their with white wives if we are the gold diggers why are we the ones surpassing you in education, corporate jobs, owning property, and the most independent one of all women? yall conceptions are twisted and you need help

[Clair]

To concerned

You stated that you are educated and self employed. What are you waiting for? I am similar to you I'm 25, black, educated, I make a
six-figure salary and I used to model in europe.In general by most standards I would be considered a good catch. Not to black men. They would constantly choose my unattrative white friends over me. So I dicided to stop waiting and I started dating a fine italian man.(Italian men love black women) So stop waiting and move on there are billions of men on the planet. You just want one right?

[Angry black woman]

I am sick and tired of reading comments on help the black man. What about helping the black woman. Look at the media black men, along with white men have made money disrepecting black women.Black women have the highest numbers of being raped and sexually abused in the united states. I do not hear any black men talking about how they can resolve this issue. All i hear is help me, feed me , cloth me. Take care of your damn selves already.
I do not have any symathy for any black man until he starts showing black women some RESPECT

[CeCe]

First of all I think it's great that The Verge is not afraid to tackle such a controversial topic as interracial dating. What makes black and white interracial dating so controversial is the history that exists between the two races. We don't seem to get as worked up over Asians and Whites interracial dating do we? I am an African American woman who loves and adores black men. I have a positive relationship with my father, my brother, my uncles and my male cousins. All of which are some fabulous brothers that take care of their families and love black women. However, when I go outside of my family and enter into the world, the black men who want to date me are not even close to the caliber of man I was raised to respect. I am 31 years old, a college graduate, and a professional with no children and yet I have thugs with 3 children by 3 different women wanting to holler. There is nothing about me that speaks to a hood rat mentality and yet that's the kind of brother I have encountered. When I have had the privileged to date a few educated, successful, and positive brothers, all of them had flesh issues. Since this type of brother is basically extinct, its open season on these types of men. They can literally have whomever they want so they have me, you, Sally, Lucy, and Nina too. So, what I'd like The Verge to answer for me is this...where is a good-looking, fun, exciting, sweet, positive, educated, and employed sistah like myself suppose to meet how Black male counterpoint? Huh, where? I have not giving up on my brothers even though it seem that my brothers have given up on me, especially since I see them with every dating Asians, Mexicans, Filipinos, East Indians....the purple people eat...you name. Just as long as she ain't black right? The only men of the caliber that I desire who want to date me are white men. And yes I am currently dating a white man who happens to have one of the most beautiful souls I have ever encountered in my life. Not only is he a wonderful person, he is kind, loving, educated, and successful. Sure he has white privilege and he white privilege could probably get him a decent looking white woman, but he chooses to date outside of his race because he prefers black women. He loves everything about me that brothers want to criticize: my spunk, my fire, my attitude, my desire for romance and monogamy. He is a good person and a good lover. And I will date him, love him, and probably even marry him because of who he is on the inside. In the end, all we really have is who we are on the inside. What’s in you comes out of you and effects what goes on around you. So ladies, and I’m speaking to my sistahs, if you desire to be treated like the treasure you are and the brothers you have encountered thus far don’t seem to be measuring up to your standards and expectations, do a Sanaa Latham and try something new. It works.

[Pambo]

The truth is , I am just attracted to white men. It's nothing personal, because I love being black, sometimes I look in the mirror at my chocolate complexion and I say "thank God I'm black". I feel a duty to honor my blackness, my heritage, I do not however feel a duty to date a black man just because society says I should.

[Courtney]

I'm a black woman and I'm married to a white man and I can't believe how many black men get angry by that. If I'm out with my husband on a Friday night and he goes to get us drinks at least two or three black men will come up to me and try to talk to me despite the fact they can see me with someone else. It's like it just tears them up on the inside. However, if I see a black man with white woman, it would be wrong of me to get upset by that. even though I don't give shit. I get so sick and tired of all the bullshit. She's with him for financial reasons. WRONG. . .my husband is a US Marine and while you may think it pays well, it doesn't pay shit. We get the bare minimum. I went to majority all white schools all my life and that may have had something to do with it, but it's not meant to be a personal attack on my race. I remember on one post someone said it's wrong because it goes back to slavery days. My husbnd and I get a kick out of the whole "master and slave" thing. Personally, I think that we all need to grow up and deal with the fact things aren't the same anymore.

[Chris Harris]

I'm a white male and i date black women because i know it makes makes black men upset........But when it is all said and done, I will always mary white.

[Courtney]

So why even date a black girl when at the end of the day your just going to be with a white girl??? Just to make someone jealous, that sounds real mature! Why even bother???

[L.A.]

I am a black Hispanic male that is very very attracted to Traditional Hispanic women. I truly cannot help it. I am well educated, built, attractive, fluent in Spanish and English, working on my Masters degree etc.

I have to agree to me it boils down to the fact that I just aint really attracted to Black women.

Also let me say this..I really aint attracted to white women either.

So yeah it has nothing to do with race, all to do with personal preference and to me its based off what turns me on..and Hispanic women do this and I have no control over it and will happily admit it.

Now with that said I also enjoy Asian women, but the fact is they do not enjoy me far more than Hispanic women, so I have given up on them due to their views of me...

who cares

[andy]

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