On the Verge of Dating White Girls

To be Bobby Brown

Ah'ight, we all know of the drug challenges and seemingly ghetto mentality of Bobby Brown.  This all came to light around 1986 when New Edition kicked Bobby out the group for doing drugs (rumor has it that was simply weed then..). 

Nonetheless, he rose above the adversity around him and created one of the hottest albums to grace this Earth, "Don't Be Cruel" in 1990. Then he came out with "Dance.  Ya' know it"--a remix of Don't be cruel and some other tracks--which did the impossible and eclipsed what I thought--at the time--was impossible:  Producing something even close and better than his original debut solo album, "Don't Be Cruel."

My point is that in spite of the rumors, convictions, drugs and menthol cigarettes, Bobby and Whitney look to be happy and they don't appear to be hurting for nothing.  The reality show "Being Bobby Brown" (yeah I peeped it) shows Whitney, Bobby and family as a loving and fun family. 

And contrary to the rumors of Whitney's challenges with drugs, and her initial impression of an innocent, talented girl next door, she has evolved into a grown woman and unlike the Diddy & J-Lo, Demi Moore and Bruce Willis break-ups, she is still there by choice and for the most part happy with that.

In sum, I acknowledge their perseverance and obvious-innate love and acceptance for each other.  I will keep them in my prayers in order for them to always to better.  Nonetheless, I can't help but think that there is something that we all can learn about them in terms of being a loving partner and parent...Sumptin...Like if I could only find a woman kinda like Whitney, Lil' Kim and Oprah all mixed together...

SWA: Sistas With Attitude

True story: 

I'm at a club with my cousin and he sees a lady friend of his.  He, knowing that I'm interested in purchasing some property in the near future, decides to introduce me to her because she was a loan agent or something like that.  After he introduces me to her at the bar, her and I proceed to have a peaceful conversation about real estate and credit.

I kept it short and brief. In the end she gave me her card.

A moment later the seat on the other side of her became available. So I sat down to relieve myself from standing.   As a sat and become a bit more comfortable, I asked her where she was from.

She looked at me kinda crazy and said, "Guess."

Thinking she had an odd sense of humor, I guessed the city we were in and I ordered my drink in the same breath.

Of course, my guess was wrong, and she rolled her eyes as she corrected me. I tried to keep the small talk going, but it was obvious she didn't want anything to do with me.  At one point she even told me that my "lines" were "cliche."

When my drink arrived, she--interestingly enough--peered at my wallet and glanced the business card she just me 2 minutes ago.  She then said with disgust, "Where did you get my card from?"

"From you," I replied.

She twisted her face and asked, "When?"

"Just now," I told her. 

She then realized that I was the same person who was just standing next to her talking to her about buying property.  She apologized for her attitude and clarified that she didn't recognize me between to 5-second interval it took for me to move from my standing position on her left, to sitting on the stool next to her on her right.

"Whatever," I'm thinking.  But what I was more interested in was, "Why? And where did the attitude come from?"

Day-yham.

The Baby's Mama: Friend or Foe?

In this world of language where expression is so slippery that you have to be articulate and possess the ability to elaborate in order to communicate or just to get your point across, unfortunately, all I have to do is say "My Baby's Mama" and any 9 out of 10 Brothas will instantly feel me.

Why is this?  Because it's real.

As if the Bush agenda, police, economy, or even the price of gas weren't enough, I gotta wake up every day and brace myself for the next bullet of her actions.

Just today when I questioned my son at soccer practice why he didn't follow my instructions and call me every evening after he completed his homework, he simply answered, "You gotta talk to my mother about that."

Knowing my son, I knew that these weren't his words--they were the words of his mother.

Being that it was just a matter of minutes before his mother picked him up, it was it not the time and place go there with him about the importance of our communication, I just had to stand there and take the emotional bullet he--unknowingly--just delivered to my chest.

Amidst these days of times where co-parenting from separate households is just as common as Kanye West in the top 10, why must we make raising our children that much more difficult?

As much as I love son, I fight the urge to hate his mother.  To this day, he is the best and worst thing to ever happen to me.

The best being him.

The worst being the relationship with his mother.

Lil' Kim "A Down Ass Black Woman!"

While Lil' Kim's "The Naked Truth" album drops in stores today, she is not out and about doing promotions for it because she is presently serving a 366 day term in jail for perjury towards a Grand Jury. Basically, she lied--or had her boys back--about a shoot out between her entourage and her rival  Roca Fella Recording Artist, Foxy Brown and her entourage .  Lil' Kim claimed she didn't see anything, but video said otherwise...

Her original sentence was to be endured at a prison camp, but that was later changed to a Philly federal prison much like the one the Original Gangster, Martha Stewart did her time in...

In this time of challenge for Lil' Kim I just want to give her props for having a brothas back.  Yeah, she caught the heat for lying in court, but her intentions were supportive of a Brotha.  I can dig that.  Plus, from my experience, court is the worst place for a Brotha to be standing or sitting in.  It's just not a cool feeling and the average Brotha like myself will take all the help I can get--thanks Kim!

Say what you want about Lil' Kim, but she definitely embodies a character trait that Brothas could use more of. 

In return I'm going to do my part and buy her CD--not the bootleg--which is supposed to be the hottest full length Hip Hop project released by a female to date!  I don't know how true that statement is, but based on what I've heard from the CD and know of Lil' Kims lyrical skills, I wouldn't be surprised if she shines above and beyond this chapter in her life.

Lil' Kim, you go!

Scorned Sistas

A very accomplished spoken word artist and colleague of mine wrote a poem the started out with the Shakespearean quote:
"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned." 
He then adds his own statement:
"Then I must be living in hell, because all I see around me is scorned women."

I also have a cousin who once expressed to me that when it comes to Sistas, he feels like he is following a "Legacy" of Brothas that have done our Sistas wrong...

The rooted truth of the above statements lies is the fact that Sistas can be have a tenacity tendency to be a bit hesitant towards broth as due to their past relationships(s) or experiences. 

While it is totally human and understandable to be affected--or even traumatized--by another person resulting is emotional scars in need of healing, I just believe that for us, on the quest to experience "Black Love," we must be diligent to toward healing and being just as considerate with each other.

 

Angelina Jolie adopts a Black child...

...So what does this mean?  The list goes on. But the facts are that in July '05, the actress Angela Jolie adopted a beautiful Ethiopian girl that was abandoned by AIDS.  This is her second child via adoption, her first child came way of  Cambodia.

The larger and more serious picture of this story is that Black people worldwide are dying of AIDS leaving a generation of children to be parented by the gracious and willing.  While I truly admire her actions, I can't help but pray and wonder about us as Black parents.  The facts are that many of are children are abandoned, orphaned and put up for adoption worldwide due to many contributing factors: AIDS, drugs, finances, ignorance etc...

So if we want to continue to contribute to the legacy of Black families raising Black children, we need to step up or more and more other races of "gracious and willing" people will continue to do it for us...

Nonetheless, this is the reality, and the benefits or consequences on Black culture are yet to be seen.

Then again, if White women can corner a market on Black children does this make them a viable and qualified prospect to join the Black family unit in the name of raising lil' Black boys and girls?

I wonder, is this the dream Martin Luther King Jr. was talking about?

Can I get a call back?

Through time I've been able to take this issue in stride, but it doesn't change the fact that telling a brotha that you'll give him a call and you don't. I don't get it.  If you're involved, or don't want to call, or whatever your reason is, why say your gonna call and you never do?

The killer is when you show me my number in your cell phone like, "See, I got your number.  I'll give you a call..."

All I'm saying is, "Why go though that?"  That worsens the wound as far as I'm concerned. 

In response I've accumulated a handful of women who continue to tell me the lie "I'll call you." 

What  I do for my own entertainment is question them every time I see them.  From my angle I know you're not going to call.  However I'm just curious to see how long you'll keep that lie going.

Yo...Surprise me...

Sistas on cell phones...

I mean "Day-Yum!."  Do I even need to elaborate, or am I the only one who has witnessed this affliction of cell phones stuck to the ear of a Sista in public?  Ah'ight, this is 2005 and everybody has got at least a Metro phone that can connect them to the cellular air wave...But yo,  why you (or they) gotta talk so loud and ignore the rest of the world?  I don't get it.  But the thing that kills me is when a brotha' is hollarin', your the cell phones rings, and in the same thought you  pick  up the phone  and begin another  conversation--like I'm not even there!!!

All I'm sayin' is be a bit more respectful to a brotha' when he's asking for some attention.  In the past, sistas have expressed that brothas can be a bit aggressive and disrespectful when they approach a sista' in traffic.  This is a legit argument.  I've even witnessed some awful incidents when brothas take it way too far when a sista' ain't feeling him...But yo, to my Sistas on cell phones, can we do a little better considering a brotha' is trying to make a respectful connection?  Feel me?  You do your part and we'll do our best to do ours.